


if i tremble

by rocketshiptospace



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is a Deputy U.S. Marshal, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Witness Protection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6507814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/pseuds/rocketshiptospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec is a man of duty, of honor, of following rules and obeying orders. Everything changes when he gets his new mission: protect Magnus Bane at all costs.</p><p>Or, Alec is a Deputy U.S. Marshal. Magnus is the son of a corrupt business man. The witness protection program bring them together in unexpected ways.</p><p>[UNFINISHED, DISCONTINUED]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. come take the weight off me now

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is getting out of hand im like 12k in and its just getting longer and longer and longer pls save me
> 
> anyway i couldnt keep this from you guys any longer so heres the first chapter of the witness protection program au!!! aka fake married because that is my WEAKNESS 
> 
> i hope you guys like it, let me know!!! next chapter will be up sunday next week probably?? i promise im going to try to do weekly updates :D

It’s chaos at the office. Granted, this is the Witness Security Division of the U.S. Marshals and they’re always in some state of hectics, but this night is on a whole new level. Alec figures that’s what happens when you catch one of the most corrupt men the world of business has ever known.

Asmodeus Bane was a man with a lot of power, and with a lot of very dangerous friends, especially in the underworld. Fearless killers, unstoppable mob bosses, gun wielding drug dealers. The kinds of people you really don’t want to run into late at night. Which means that some of the people closely associated with Asmodeus who are willing to testify against him fear for their lives, and are in dire need of witness protection.

Alec sighs as he leans back in his office chair, looking at all the people milling around. The paperwork that this whole shit fest is going to generate is already giving him a severe headache. He doesn’t mind that much, it’s still part of his job after all, but he prefers field work over filling out files any day.

His eyes get drawn to where a woman in a bright sparkly dress is animatedly waving her arms around as she tells Jace something, probably about the details of her witness protection. Jace is nodding along and writing things down, but Alec can see the complete disinterest on his face. Clary, the intern, is watching the whole scene from a few feet away and clearly trying really hard not to laugh. Alec’s so focused on the whole scene that he barely notices he has company until someone is clearing their throat next to him.

“Hello big brother,” Izzy says, as she sits down on the only corner of his desk that isn’t absolutely _covered_ in papers. “How are you on this wonderful Friday evening?”

“Tired, annoyed, in dire need of about six liters of coffee,” Alec groans, running a hand through his hair. There’s no need to lie to his sister, she knows him too well.

Izzy laughs. “You’re not the only one,” she says, glancing back to Jace, who looks about five seconds away from actually putting his head through his desk. “There’s not much I can do about the tired and annoyed part, but the coffee I can maybe help with,” she says, as she places a coffee cup next to Alec’s elbow. It’s black, and so strong it looks more like oil than actual coffee, exactly the way Alec likes it.

He frowns at the cup, “Okay, what do you need.” It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the gesture. It’s just that his sister never brings him coffee unless she needs something from him.

“What do you mean?” Izzy asks, feigning innocence. Alec sends her a look and she sighs, “Fine. But I’m not the one that needs something from you. Inspector Herondale wants to talk to you. She said it was important. So I figured you might need the coffee.”

“Inspector Herondale?” Alec asks, eyebrows raised. It’s not common for Deputy U.S. Marshals to be summoned to the inspector’s office. Normally inspectors only talk to the actual U.S. Marshals, who then pass on this information to the deputy’s. The fact that Inspector Herondale wants to speak to him personally can’t mean much good.

Alec takes a sip of his coffee as a way of liquid courage and promptly burns his mouth. Izzy has the decency not to laugh.

“You’ll be fine, brother,” she says instead. “You’re the best we have, the worst she can do is scold you for working too much.”

Alec rolls his eyes at that. His sister seems to be convinced he works too much, which he does not agree with at all. Yes, he’s usually the first to arrive and the last to leave but that’s just because he wants to avoid the rush hours. Biking through New York is already enough of a challenge without the added hardship of annoying and overwhelming traffic. Plus, he totally does stuff outside of work, sometimes. Occasionally. When Izzy forces him too. “Well, I’ll better get over there then,” he says, gulping down the last of the coffee before skillfully throwing the cup in the bin on the other side of the room.

“Show off,” Izzy mutters, rolling her eyes as she also gets up. “Come on, I’ll walk you there. If these are your last moments on earth I want to be able to cherish them.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Izzy, it’s appreciated,” Alec tells her dryly as he starts walking in the direction of Inspector Herondale’s office. Jace sends them a longing look as they walk past his desk, like he desperately wishes he was in their shoes right now. Although the woman in the gold dress does seem rather draining, Alec is convinced Jace wouldn’t actually want to trade if he knew where they were going right now.

Now he’s standing, Alec can overlook the bullpen even better, and the true chaos it’s become over the past hour. His eyes flick from person to person, simply scanning quickly without taking in too much detail, more out of habit than anything. A Deputy U.S. Marshal is always aware of his surroundings. It’s almost like second nature.

But then his eyes land on a guy sitting outside of what he knows to be his father’s office. Alec isn’t sure what exactly catches his eye, but it might be the fact that he’s wearing an outfit that could easily rival the gold sparkly dress of the woman Jace is dealing with. The V-neck he’s wearing doesn’t leave much for the imagination, although most of his bare chest is covered in gold and silver chains. His jeans are tight enough that Alec momentarily wonders if they might be painted on, and he’s wearing a pair of shoes that look like the owner went to Michael’s and just spend two hours rolling through the glitter section.

The most intriguing part of the guy, however, is his face. He has a light stubble, like he hasn’t bothered to shave for a few days, and there’s smudges of eye liner under his eyes. Alec’s also pretty sure he can see the remains of some lipstick or lip-gloss, but he doesn’t know enough about make-up to be sure. What he _can_ be sure about, however, is the thin layer of glitter that doesn’t only coat the guy’s eyelids, but also seems to be sprinkled on his collarbones. That, along with a pair of piercing green yellowish eyes that are like anything Alec’s ever seen before make him hard to overlook. He’s not really sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.

After all, Alec is used to simplicity, to following orders, to obey. This guy looks like he’s never listened to a word anyone’s ever told him in his life, and he also very much does not care about what anyone thinks. He’s the kind of guy Alec usually hates, the careless outgoing types that only care about themselves and no one else.

He looks away quickly when the guy’s eyes land on him, embarrassed to be caught staring. He turns back to Izzy, who seems unaware to Alec momentarily zooning out, and aggressively tries to push the guy out of his mind. He’s just another witness for the Bane case, no one important. After today, Alec will probably never see him again. Besides, he can’t even find a reason why he’d _want_ to see him again. The guy screams nothing but trouble.

He shakes his head and nudges Izzy with his shoulder. “Also don’t act like you and me both don’t know you’re just walking with me to avoid actually doing any work.” He says as they exit the bullpen.

“I know, but it’s _boring_ ,” Izzy whines, “Just in the past hour I have filled in more files than I normally do in a _week_. Sue me for wanting a break.”

“Yeah, I feel you. Hopefully these people will be gone by the end of next week. And then the feds will no doubt catch the next big guy and the whole circus starts all over again,” Alec says with a sigh, running a hand over his face, “You know, I hate to admit it, but maybe I need a break. A long one.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Izzy says with a roll of her eyes, “I’ve been telling you that since you broke Simon’s Star Wars pen in half like five weeks ago. He loved that pen, man. You crushed his heart.”

“Well he should’ve thought of that before he went and got on my nerves,” Alec grumbles, “Besides, wasn’t it a Darth Vader one? That’s the bad guy, right? So technically I did him a favor by destroying the darkness or whatever.”

“Whatever you say,” Izzy says with a laugh, as they come to a halt in front of Inspector Herondale’s office. “Well, I’ll leave you here so I can go back to my own boring paperwork. May the force be with you, big bro.” She gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek before stalking off in the direction of the bullpen again, and Alec takes a deep breath before knocking on the door, immediately entering when the hears the expected “Come in!”

Inspector Herondale is sitting behind her desk, staring at Alec over the rim of her glasses. This is nothing new or unexpected. Alec’s eyebrows raise in surprise, however, as he notices his parents are also there. As respected U.S. Marshall’s they might be above him, but it’s rare to see them at meetings with the Inspector.

“You requested me?” Alec asks, as he fully enters the room and tries to not let the surprise show on his face.

“Yes, Alec, please sit down.” The Inspector says, as she gestures towards the only empty chair in the room.

He sits down, in-between his parents, and tries very hard not to fidget. The only reasons Alec can come up with why they would be here are all very bad, and he’s terrified of the conversation to come. The worst thing he can think of is being demoted, and that would already be a tragedy in his case. The disappointment on his parents faces would be unbearable.

“So, Mr. Lightwood, you are probably wondering why I asked you to come here,” Inspector Herondale says, shuffling a few files on her desk. She doesn’t wait for an answer. “As you know Asmodeus Bane was arrested this morning, and with the feds still compiling their case in order to be able to sue them, you can understand why our office has become such a… chaos.” She looks up at him on the last word and Alec quickly nods in understanding.

“All these people that are going in to the witness protection program right now are of course very valuable, but there is one in particular that will help really sell the case to the judges and ensure that Mr. Bane will be locked away for the rest of his life. You can imagine this is a person a lot of ‘friends’ of Mr. Bane would rather see dead. That means we must protect him with all we got. Which is where you come in.” She pauses, and Alec guesses it’s just for dramatic effect, so he stays quiet, and only nods again.

She slides a file Alec’s way. “This person in question is none other than his son, Magnus Bane, who agreed to testify against him if we ensured his protection before and after the trial. Which we of course gladly accepted. Magnus knows his father better than anyone else, despite their slightly rocky relationship. He’s the key to putting this man behind bars forever.”

Alec opens the file and his breath hitches in his throat when he sees the picture of this Magnus Bane person. It’s the same guy he saw only moments ago, sitting in front of his father’s office. He doesn’t look much different in the picture, maybe a little less sparkly. He’s still wearing an impressively low V-neck and his eyes are looking straight at the camera, which is slightly intimidating and unnerving. He looks away from the file momentarily to glance at his parents, who thus far have stayed very quiet. Alec knows they must know why he’s here, but their facial expressions aren’t giving him a single clue.

“This is a special case, Alec, one we need to handle with the devotion and professionalism it needs and deserves. Which is why we are sending you into hiding with him.” Inspector Herondale says, and Alec head shoots up from where he had been studying Magnus’s file ( _trouble maker, frequent partygoer, glitter enthusiast)._

“Excuse me?” Alec says, in the politest way he can muster. This is unheard of. Normally, U.S. Marshals ensure the safety of the witnesses up until they go into hiding. It is unusual for them to go into hiding as well, just to protect someone. “You want me to go undercover?” He ask.

“Exactly,” Inspector Herondale says. The faces of his parents are still unmoving. “Like I said, Magnus is a key player in getting Asmodeus behind bars. You’re the best equipped for this mission. You aren’t reckless, like your siblings tend to be, and you have experience in the field.”

“What does the mission entail?” Alec asks, knowing he’s already going to do it. This is an excellent chance for him to get on the Inspectors radar, to ensure a possible promotion in the future. Being and official U.S. Marshal is all Alec’s worked for all his life and this is his golden opportunity to get there.

“You might not like it,” Inspector Herondale says, once again peering over the edge of her glasses. “Maryse and Robert certainly didn’t,” Her gaze flicks to Alec’s parents, and Alec can see an almost invisible twitch in the corner of his mother’s eye. “We want you to go undercover with Magnus for as long as needed, but what will probably be a period of around five to six months. During this period you will ensure his safety and his wellbeing, all while pretending to be his husband.”

And, well. That explains his parents’ stony expressions. Alec swallows, and his hands dig in the fabric of his jeans where they are placed on his thighs. It’s the most logical explanation, he guesses, for two guys their age to be living together. The world is changing, it has become more normal, it’ll be accepted. They’ll easily fly under the radar. It’s smart.

It’ll be interesting, too. Deputy U.S. Marshals rarely get the chance to go undercover, especially in the Witness Security Division. This opportunity will not only get his parents out of his hair for a few months, but it’s also a very good step towards a promotion, to get a step higher. If he nails this mission, he could be the path to become the first Lightwood to be an Inspector in decades. It’ll get his family’s name out there again, give Izzy and Max more chances to achieve the same.

 “I’ll do it,” he says, and he can see his mother’s eye twitch again. His father still hasn’t moved a muscle.

“Wonderful,” Inspector Herondale says, and there is the small beginning of a smile forming on her face. “Maryse and Robert said they’d only agree with it if you did. And you have.” She hands him another stack of files. “Here is all the information you need to know. Both about the mission and about Magnus. I need you to learn this guy inside out. Like I have told you before, this is an important mission. I can’t have you screw it up by not being thorough enough.” She sends him a look over her glasses and Alec nods.

“I will not disappoint,” he tells her, as he takes the files.

“You better not.” Inspector Herondale tells him, before giving the Lightwoods a dismissive wave. The three of them raise from their chairs as one collective unit. “Any other questions you can ask Maryse or Robert. They will supervise your mission. Good luck, Alec.”

“Thank you, Inspector Herondale,” he says, and then suddenly he’s standing in the hallway, a massive stack of files in his hands, and his parents staring at him with a mixture of pride and disapproval. It makes for a very odd look.

“Although I appreciate the opportunities this mission might give you,” Maryse says, as she starts walking in the direction of her own office, expecting her son and husband to follow her, which they do, “I don’t like the details. But, this is an important cause, and it is only work, after all.” The ‘ _It’s not like you’re really gay_ ’ goes unspoken, but still makes an uneasy feeling sit in the pit of Alec’s stomach.

“It’s my duty to protect people, mother.” Alec says, easily keeping up with his mother’s fast pace. “I’ll do anything to fulfill my duty.”

His mother hums, but doesn’t say anything else. She simply walks into her office and closes the door behind her, effectively shutting the Lightwood men out.

“She’ll come around,” his father tells him. “You know how these things go with her.” He give Alec a pat on the shoulder, “Go read those files, son. I’ll get back to you when we know more.” He walks off in the direction of his own office. Alec watches him go, and distantly registers that the chair Magnus was previously occupying is now empty. There’s no sign of him, except maybe a few traces of glitter that are left on the chair. Alec sighs and heads off to his own desk. After all, he has a lot of reading to do.

\--

Izzy finds him two hours later, when he’s escaped his desk to grab a cup of coffee and is starting to fall asleep on the couch in the break room. She stalks in, determined look on her face, and promptly hits Alec in the chest with a rolled up file. “So, when were you going to tell me?” She says, when Alec shoots up straight with a disoriented look on his face.

“You, I, What?” Alec asks, as he reaches for the file he was reading earlier, that must’ve fallen on the floor while he was falling asleep, “What time is it?”

“Half past when the fuck were you going to tell me about your undercover mission.” Izzy glares at him, and Alec runs a hand over his face.

“You were busy,” he mutters, “I thought I’d tell you later.”

“I’m your _sister_ ,” Izzy says, “I don’t care how busy I am, I’ll always make time for you.”

Alec sighs and sits up straight, and Izzy immediately plops down next to him on the couch. “I know, Izzy, I just…” He runs a hand down his face. “I just needed to think for a bit, you know? It’s not. I was going to tell you, I really was.”

Izzy’s expression softens. “Is this about the fact that you have to fake marry a man?”

Alec looks down at his hands. “You should’ve seen their faces. Mom and dad, I mean. They were there too, Inspector Herondale needed their permission to send me on this mission. Dad… Dad seemed to be okay with it. I mean, he didn’t really seemed to bothered by it, albeit a bit stoic. But then again, when is he not,” Alec laughs without any real humor behind it and leans back on the couch. “Mom, though. She was doing the eye twitch. You know the one.” He sighs. “It just sucks. Mom flat out said she did not at all like it. And this was their reaction to me _pretending_ to be married to a man. It’s not even real, it’s only the idea of me being with a man that already completely disgusts them. Just imagine their reaction if they found out I would actually really prefer marrying a man over a woman in real life.”

Izzy leans back on the couch as well and leans her head on Alec’s shoulder. “I’m not going to lie to you Alec, if you ever do tell them, they’re not going to like it. But they’ll get over it, I can assure you that. They’re still mom and dad, in the end. They might not be the warmest parents to walk the earth, but they still love you.”

Alec hums, but doesn’t say anything else. Izzy gently pries the file from his fingers and flips it open. It’s the one about Magnus himself. Alec had been trying to get to know him better by studying his file, but it’s nothing like the real deal. He’s seen Magnus, and he’s pretty sure someone like him can’t be captured on paper. But it’s all he has right now, so it’ll have to do.

“He’s cute,” Izzy tells him, looking at the picture of Magnus attached to the file. “Seems nice.”

“He looks like trouble,” Alec tells her, pushing himself off the couch to make coffee for both him and Izzy. “Haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet, though, so who knows.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Izzy says, placing the file back on the table. “Just be your own charming self and you’ll be okay.”

Alec snorts. “I think you’re the only person that would tell me to be myself. The rest would probably tell me to be anything _but_ myself.”

Izzy sends him a smile that tinged with sadness and Alec quickly turns away to fiddle with the coffee cups. He’s her older brother, he’s supposed to be the example, he’s supposed to be the strong one. He hates it when Izzy looks at him like that, with sadness, with pity. “Anyway, how is your work going?” He hands Izzy her coffee as they sit back down.

Izzy sends him a look, but seems to accept the obvious change of subject. “I’m almost done. Maybe another half an hour or so. You’re also almost done too, right?” Alec nods. The only thing he has to do right now is read those files and he can also easily do that from home. “Could you maybe take me home? I drove here with Simon, but he’s already gone. Wasn’t feeling too well.”

“Of course,” he says, ruffling Izzy’s hair. She sends him a death glare and he laughs. “Anything for my little sister.”

\--

The files really don’t tell Alec anything interesting. From what he gathers Magnus is a stereotypical rich kid. Likes to party, occasionally gets in trouble with the cops, doesn’t really seem to care what anyone thinks of him. But Alec can’t help but feel like there’s more to him, the letters on these pages don’t really do him justice. He guesses that’s just never really the case with files. He wonders what his says. What Magnus must think of him as he reads it. He probably comes across boring, stoic. He doesn’t know why it’s so important to him what Magnus thinks of him

The file about the mission doesn’t give him much extra information either. There’s no address of where their new house will be, no specific information that could tell Alec where they were going, in case someone else got their hands on the file. All he gets is the basics. His name will be Adam Jones, and Magnus will be Mark Jones. They’ve been married for only a year, and decided to move to the suburbs to start a family. Both of them will ‘work from home’, Alec as a web developer and Magnus as a writer. They have to try and blend in to the neighborhood as much as possible as to not raise any suspicion.

It’s not really a hard mission. The chance that anyone will find Magnus is already nihil, and if someone does show up, Alec can easily take care of it. He will have contact with the office at all times, and the house will be surrounded with security cameras. Inside the house they will luckily have their privacy, although Alec will make sure to do a sweep as soon as he gets there. One of the first things Alec learned from being a Deputy U.S. Marshal is to never trust U.S. Marshals. In fact, never trust anyone fully until you’re sure they’re trustworthy. And even then, always be wary.

But that’s all for another day. Right now, Alec has to focus on surviving the goodbye party Izzy hosts him the day before he’s supposed to set on his mission. Although the mission is supposed to be as secret as possible, it took his friend about a day to all figure it out. Alec suspects Izzy is the culprit behind that, but he doesn’t really care. They know about as much of the specifics of the mission as Alec does, which is virtually nothing.

“Alec!” Izzy yells excitedly as she opens up the door of her apartment, immediately stepping sideways to let him in. “You’re just in time. Go tell Jace that I can totally cook acceptable food and that banning me from the kitchen is absolutely ridiculous.”

Alec laughs and presses a kiss to her forehead as he walks past. “I’d love to, but you know I hate lying, especially to my friends and family.” He kicks of his shoes and takes of his jacket before walking into Izzy’s apartment, his sister right behind him.

“Hey, my cooking is not that bad!” She protests, and Simon, who’s lounging on the couch, covers up his ‘it really is’ with a loud coughing fit. Alec snorts and plops down on the couch across from him. The noises coming from the kitchen tell him that Clary and Jace are on cooking duty, and Alec hopes they manage to at least put up something edible before they bash each other’s heads in. He is actually quite hungry after all.

They’re a weird group, the five of them. Jace is Alec and Izzy’s adopted brother, and he’s as much a part of the family as either of the actual Lightwood siblings are. The three have known each other forever, and it had always been just them, but that changed when Clary came barreling into their lives.

Clary, the intern, who is as experienced as she is tall (which basically means not at all) but has a big heart and an even bigger determination, had quickly stolen Jace’s heart, although he aggressively pretended this wasn’t actually the case. But alas, Clary had become a part of their little group, and along with her came Simon, the accountant of the Witness Security Division with a knack for talking too much and pissing off everybody in his general vicinity.  

Izzy in her turn showed an interest in Simon, to everyone’s surprise. So now Izzy and Simon were dating, Clary and Jace were… something, and Alec was still pretty much alone. Come to think of it, he was kind of glad to be getting out of there for a while. Although he was happy for both Izzy and Jace, he couldn’t help but get the feeling that maybe he was just meant to be alone forever. Maybe he just wasn’t really dating material.

A big part of that might be the fact that he’s gay, and is only out to his inner circle of friends, and doesn’t really know how to do the whole dating thing, but still. It kind of feels like no one’s ever interested in him, not the way people flock to Izzy and Jace. It’s only happened a few times that people actually showed interest in Alec, and that never worked out. Not that he minds, though. Alec has his job to focus on. That has always been the most important part of his life, and he knows it’s hard to juggle both work and a relationship. So maybe he’s single status is for the better. After all, in the end, he would probably always choose his job.

“I can’t believe you’re going on an undercover mission,” Simon says, effectively pulling Alec out of his own thoughts. “And you’re pretending to be lovers, like. That’s some serious Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit. Except you’re not really a spy and neither is Magnus and he knows you’re a U.S. Marshal, but still. You’re married and pretending to live in this fancy house and that everything is fine and dandy between you two and oh my god do you think you will have a cool car chase? I mean I know the idea of the whole undercover thing is to, well, stay undercover, but do you think that’s a possibility? Or is it more like The Pacifier where you pretend to be the nanny the children and then BOOM turns out there’s this secret lab in the basement and you can only unlock it by following the instructions of the nursery rhyme this kids taught you, wait, will you two even have kids? No, probably not, I mean that would probably be too much of a hassle, right?” He looks up to Izzy and Alec. Izzy, who’s staring at him with that nauseating fond look she only reserves for Simon, and Alec, who just blinks at him.

“So,” Alec says, turning to Izzy. “Does he have an off button or am I just going to have to shoot him?”

Simon squeaks. Izzy laughs. “Oh please Alec, we talked about this. You wouldn’t shoot one of my boyfriends. At least not _again_.”

At that Simon shoots up from the couch, slightly panicked, and starts heading for the kitchen. “You know what I just remembered? That I have to check on Clary. Very urgently. Like, right now. I will leave you two to talk. Okay, yes, goodbye.” And then he’s gone.

Alec sends Izzy a look. “You and I both know I’ve never actually shot one of your boyfriends. You are very much capable of handling them yourself.”

Izzy laughs. “Yeah, but Simon’s terrified of you for some reason, and it’s fun to tease him. Anyway, I’m glad I got to talk to you alone for a bit. How’re you holding up, you nervous for tomorrow?” Izzy somehow makes the switch from teasing to worried look incredibly natural as she places a hand on Alec’s shoulder.

Alec sighs. “It’s fine, I guess. I don’t really know what to expect, you know. They send me a wardrobe that’s filled with what they refer to as ‘mundane clothing’ that I have to wear during my mission, gave me a time and place for the meet up tomorrow and that’s pretty much it. I know there will be a car waiting for us at the meet up point, and from there Magnus and I will have to drive to our new house ourselves. I don’t know, it’s all just a bit…. Unreal? I’ve never really done undercover missions, so I don’t really know what to expect.”

Izzy smiles softly at him. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, it’s. I just hope Magnus is a cool guy, you know. I mean, we’re going to have to spend quite the time together, it would seriously suck if he turned out to be an asshole.” Alec leans back on the couch and runs a hand through his hair.

“If he’s an asshole to you call me and I’ll be there in a second,” Izzy says fiercely, “I don’t care if he’s under protection and this is a secret mission or whatever, if he’s rude to you I will straight up come over and punch him in the nose.”

Alec laughs and pulls his sister into a hug, “You’re the best, Izzy, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary. If it comes down to it, I’ll punch him in the nose myself.”

Izzy opens her mouth to say something else but she’s interrupted by Clary screaming “Dinner’s ready!” from the kitchen. Izzy pats his arm one last time, sending him a soft smile, before getting off the couch to rush into the kitchen, yelling something about how there’s no way in hell their version of pasta carbonara is better than hers.

Alec follows her, albeit at a slower pace, and watches his friends putter around the kitchen as they get the table ready, yelling insults at each other as they go. He shakes his head fondly, and realizes that he might actually miss them these upcoming months.

Simon declares it the best pasta he’s ever had, but immediately starts backpedaling when he sees the look on Izzy’s face. Jace tells them that of course it’s the best pasta they’ve ever eaten, he made it after all, to which Clary reminds him of the fact that literally all he did was cook the pasta and she was the one who made the sauce. This somehow spirals into a heated argument about the importance of pasta vs. the sauce in pasta dishes and Alec can’t help the smile that creeps up on his face.

Yeah, he’ll definitely miss these idiots. Not that he’s going to tell them that, though.

 


	2. these things take forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i KNOW i was supposed to upload this tomorrow but honestly i couldnt wait SO HERE IT IS YAY 
> 
> the feedback so far has been amazing im !!!! thank you so much !!!! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well :)))))

The sun is still low in the sky when Alec arrives at the meeting point that morning. Normally, he’s one of those annoyingly chipper morning persons, but this morning, after a long night of laughing and drinking with his friends, he’d much rather sleep for another three days than actually be awake.

He’d stayed at Izzy’s apartment until the early hours, when Clary had fallen asleep on Jace’s shoulder and Jace pretended to be super annoyed about it but failed to hide his fondness. At that point even Simon was too tired to string together long sentences anymore, and Izzy was just repeatedly telling them they were all assholes and she loved them. That was the moment Alec realized that maybe it was time to go home, although it was probably already way too late.

It’ll be a great first impression, he thinks bitterly, rubbing his eyes. Like, ‘Hi I will be your fake husband for the upcoming weeks. I will also be in charge of protection you. I mean, I know look like a wrung out tea towel right now, but I promise I can take down five bad guys with just my pinky and two rubber bands’. As the cherry on top his undercover persona also apparently has a great love for _color_ , which means he’s dressed in a light blue button up he would normally would not be found dead in. He’s going to have some serious talks with whoever was in charge of arranging his wardrobe for this mission.

Magnus is already there when he arrives, and so is his mother. Her face is once again expressionless, although Alec can see by the tight line of her mouth that she’s still not too fond of the situation. Alec looks away from her and focusses on Magnus instead.

Magnus, who looks completely different from the last time Alec saw him. Apparently Magnus usual attire, which seemed to be sort of desperate attempt to compensate for the lack of fabric by adding more and more glitter, wasn’t deemed very suburb appropriate. So now Magnus is dressed in a simple grey buttoned sweater and a pair of loose fitting pants. His normally spiky hair is gelled down, he’s not wearing any make-up, and he looks general very uncomfortable, although he is covering it up with a bright smile. “This is the ugliest thing I’ve worn since I was six,” he tells Alec cheerily, plucking at his sleeve.

It’s the first thing Magnus has ever said to him, and Alec can’t help but notice how nice Magnus’s voice sounds. For someone as flashy as Magnus his voice is surprisingly calm and soothing. It’s the kind of voice fitting for a business man, strong and unwavering. He doesn’t notice he’s been lost in thought, staring at a spot just above Magnus’s head, until he sees Magnus raise a questioning eyebrow out of the corner of his eye. “Right, I uh,” Alec stutters, looking straight at Magnus and noticing the tiny specks of yellowish gold in Magnus’s sparkling green eyes he hadn’t noticed before. The pictures really don’t do his eyes justice. The pictures really don’t do any of Magnus justice. “That sucks.” Alec eventually settle on, and cringes inwardly. Really, Alec, way to make a first impression. This is going great.

“You, on the other hand, look _marvelous_ ,” Magnus goes on, seemingly unaware or uncaring of Alec’s complete inability to communicate like a normal human being. “The way the fabric of your polo stretches across those impressive biceps of yours is honestly drool worthy.” His words make Alec blush, and he opens his mouth to say something, thank him, tell him to knock it off, _something_ ¸ but he mostly just ends up tripping over his own words.

Luckily he’s interrupted by his mother, who hands him a file and says, without sparing as much as a glance in Magnus’s direction, “Here is the address of your new home. The moving truck has already brought all of your stuff and they’ve decorated the whole place. The second bedroom has been turned into an office from which you can contact us, it has all the newest software. You know your names, practice them on your way there. Interact with the neighbors, go shopping, but lay low. You don’t want to raise suspicions by being too secret but you also don’t want to be too out there.” His mother rattles off, her voice cold and impersonal. She hands them both a simple gold band. “Here are your rings. Never take them off, they have a tracking device in them in case something happens.”

She pauses again as both boys slip the ring on their finger. Her face is still completely emotionless. The metal of the ring is cold against Alec’s finger, and the weight of it feels kind of weird, but also comforting. Magnus slips it on without any trouble, and Alec realizes he must be used to wearing rings all the time. He wonders if this ring feels any different. He knows that for him it would.

“And Alec,” She says finally, looking at her son with a piercing look that makes Alec squirm. “Make me proud.” And then she whips around and stalks away, quickly disappearing in the distance.

“What a lovely woman. Very charming,” Magnus jokes, and Alec ignores him as he stalks towards the car, opening the door a little more forcefully than necessary.

“She’s my mother,” he says, before ducking into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t want to see the look on Magnus’s face when he realizes they are related. He’s seen it a million times before. The pity, the sorrow. Oh poor lonely boy with his cold soldier like mom. He hates it, it makes him look like he’s never known love. He has. He has Izzy and Jace and Max and now recently Clary and Simon that have proven him over and over again that you can pick your own family, that in the end, the blood you share means nothing.

The car is an obnoxious SUV, but Alec guesses that in the suburbs it won’t attract that much attention. If anything, it’s a save getaway car if necessary. He knows the windows are bullet proof and that there’s an array of weapons stashed in the backseat in case of emergencies. But he’s pretty sure it won’t come to that.

Magnus gets in the car after him, and to Alec’s surprise, says nothing about Alec’s mom like he’d expected. Instead he immediately opens the glovebox and starts ruffling through its contents. "So, you know where to go, soldier?” He asks, as he takes a tin case out of the glovebox, letting out a triumphant ‘Ha!’ as it turns out to be filled with small candies. He pops one into his mouth and Alec wills himself to stop staring at Magnus’s mouth. It’s quite sinful, even without the slight shimmer of lip-gloss he’d been wearing the first time Alec saw him.

“Uh, yeah, address.” He mutters, shaking himself from his thought. Magnus holds out the tin case to offer him a candy, but Alec shakes his head. “No, thank you. I’m Alec, by the way.”

Magnus sends him an amused smile as Alec fumbles with the car keys. “I know that. Full name Alexander Gideon Lightwood, but prefers to go by Alec. Three younger siblings, one of them adopted. 28 years old. I _did_ actually read the file your office so graciously provided me with.”

“Right,” Alec mumbles, finally getting the car to start. The SUV rumbles to live underneath them, and for a moment Alec lets his foot hover above the gas pedal without actually pressing down. He can still get out now. He can still step out of the car, go to the office and say he can’t do this. He can still quit.

He thinks about his mother, and her expressionless face as she told him to make her proud. He thinks about telling Inspector Herondale he would not disappoint. He remembers his sister’s encouraging smile, thinks about how Jace’s hug lingered a bit the night before when they said goodbye.

He presses down on the gas pedal.

“So, Alexander,” Magnus says, and Alec frowns.

“It’s Alec.” He corrects Magnus, and Magnus raises an eyebrow.

“So, Alexander,” Magnus repeats, and Alec is convinced he’s just doing it to get under Alec’s skin. If this is how the upcoming months are going to be, he might take Izzy up on her offer of punching him in the face. “Tell me something about yourself.”

Alec scrunches up his nose. “You read my file, right? You already know everything there is to know.”

“Yes, but those are all impersonal facts. Can you imagine, if the neighbors came over tomorrow and asked me what my husband was like, and I replied with ‘well he’s born on the 4th of September and his eyes are brown’. For some reason I don’t think they’re going to be impressed much,” Magnus tells him, and Alec rolls his eyes.

“Fine,” He mutters, “What do you want to know?”

Magnus sits up a bit straighter, like he’s excited by the prospect of getting to ask Alec questions, “Okay, let’s start simple. Favorite color?”

“Black,” Alec says, without really thinking about it. When he does, he isn’t actually sure if that’s the correct answer. Growing up, he sort of learned to love black. It was the color of his uniform, of his suits. It was convenient, because you couldn’t see it was dirty, it was simple, casual. Black was a way to hide in plain sight. Black was an armor. He looks over to Magnus, who looks like someone who rarely ever wear black, and momentarily thinks that if he had to pick a different favorite color, it might be the gold flecked green of Magnus’s eyes. Which is when he realizes the silence that has fallen over them and quickly clears his throat. “So, uh, yours? I mean, what is your favorite color?”

Magnus looks straight at him and Alec tears his eyes away and tries to focus on the road as Magnus says, “Blue. I just like the variety blue can have, you know? You have calm seas and pretty blue skies but you have also dark, almost black-blue night skies that make you feel haunted and alone. Blue can be so many different things, I don’t know, I just like that.” Magnus shrugs.

“Yeah,” Alec says, surprised at how open Magnus is being, “Blue is nice.”

Seriously. _Blue is nice_. When did he turn into such an awkward socially inept mess.

Magnus once again seems to ignore this. Alec is very grateful. “So, favorite food?”

“Anything that isn’t cooked by Izzy, probably,” Alec says, at an attempt at humor. “She’s a horrible chef. Last year she gave us all food poisoning by making lasagna. That was an interesting week at the office.”

“Izzy is your sister, right?” Magnus asks, and he sounds genuinely interested. It’s a bit weird. It’s been a while since someone was genuinely interested in Alec’s life.

“Yeah, Isabelle. She’s my only sister. Then there’s Jace, who’s adopted, and Max. Izzy and Jace are U.S. Marshals as well, and Max is in training,” Alec laughs dryly, “I guess you can say it’s sort of a family thing.”

Magnus hums, “I don’t have any siblings.” Alec knew this, because he read his file, but he doesn’t say so. It’s much more interesting to hear these things from Magnus himself. “Sounds nice though, having someone who always has your back.”

Alec smiles fondly. “Yeah, they can be pretty cool. Most of the time they’re just a gigantic pain in the ass, though. But I guess that’s kind of part of it.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Magnus mumbles. He doesn’t say anything else for a while, instead opts for popping another piece of candy in his mouth, munching on it thoughtfully. “Favorite movie?” He eventually asks, and Alec snorts.

 “You’re just going to do all the cliché favorites?” He says, and Magnus laughs.

“Hey, this is important stuff. This is the kind of things I’m supposed to know about my husband.” As he says the words Alec glances at the ring around his own finger, the gold a stark contrast of the black of the steering wheel. Magnus follows his eyes and smiles softly. “It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? Suddenly being married.”

“Yeah,” Alec huffs out. “I mean, can you imagine? I’ve never even been in a long term committed relationship and now here I am, fake married to a man I’ve maybe known for half an hour.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so honest about this, but maybe it’s because he knows Magnus understands. Or he hopes Magnus understands. They’re kind of in the same boat right now, after all.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I promise I’ll be the best fake husband you’ve ever had.” Magnus says, voice light and joking, but when he glances sideways Alec can see the honesty in his eyes. And he kind of realizes, in that moment, that he’s not the only one who has to get used to this situation. If anything, he had a choice. He had a choice whether or not to accept this mission. Magnus didn’t. For Magnus, this wasn’t even a mission. This was his life. His father was in jail, would probably never get out, and now he has to go in hiding, possibly for the rest of his life.

“Yeah,” Alec says, focusing on the road again, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “Me too.”

“Good,” Magnus says, with another smile. “Speaking of, how did we meet?”

“Uh,” Alec says, “I don’t want to like, insult your intellect or anything, but that happened literally like half an hour ago. In the parking lot. My mom was there, you were complaining about your sweater?”

Magnus laughs, and Alec absentmindedly registers that it’s a really nice laughs. It’s warm,  light. It kind of reminds him of sunshine. “Not what I meant, Alexander,” he says, and Alec is surprised to find that his full name really doesn’t sound that bad rolling off Magnus’s tongue. Maybe he won’t hate Magnus using it as much as he thought he would. “What I meant, is how did we meet, as husbands? What do we tell our neighbors when they ask?”

“Oh,” Alec says, and he kind of wants to punch himself for not thinking of that. Of course that’s what Magnus meant. “I don’t know? A party? Mutual friends?”

Magnus sends him an appalled look. “You have the entire world of cute-meet stories at your feet and you go with _a party_? That’s just unacceptable. No, I was personally more thinking along the lines of you saved me from a burning building or something.”

“I’m not a fire fighter, though,” Alec reminds him, “I’m supposed to be a web designer. So unless I have another undercover persona that I don’t know about that is actually Spiderman, I don’t think that’s a good believable story to use.”

 “Hm, disappointing. You certainly have the arms for it,” Magnus says waving his hand in the general direction of Alec’s biceps. Alec forces himself not to blush. “Okay, something a bit more… normal, then. How about we met because we lived in the same building, and my cat escaped, so I came to you in a panic because well, the Chairman really can’t be alone for too long, and what if something _happened_ to him. And you helped me find my cat back and to thank you I asked you out on a date.”

“That’s... Yes, I can find myself in that,” Alec says, picturing Magnus frantically waving his arms around as he tries to explain to Alec that his cat is gone and Alec _needs to help him find it_. “Wait, the Chairman?”

“Yes,” Magnus says. “Chairman Meow. My cat.”

“You have a cat?” Alec asks, surprised. Magnus really doesn’t seem like the type to have a cat. Magnus doesn’t really seem like the type to care about anyone but himself. But then again, Magnus is full of surprises.

“I do,” Magnus says, and he sounds fond as he says it. “They wouldn’t let him come with me, though, so he’s staying with a friend of mine right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec says sincerely. It’s clear Magnus really cares about the cat, and Alec feels kind of bad for him that he had to leave him behind.

Magnus shrugs. “It’s fine. He’s better off with Ragnor right now. I’d just feel bad for him if I had to drag him along here with him, in this new environment, all these new people. He’s happier staying in New York.” Magnus still looks a bit sad, though, so Alec decides it’s time to change the subject.

“So, our first date? Wanna be cliché and say we went to coffee?” He says, and Magnus frowns in thought.

“Okay, but we have to spice it up a little. Let’s say you spilled your drink all over me and felt super guilty, and then asked me out for another date to make up for it.”

“Honestly I would probably do that,” Alec says, with a laugh. “I once had a date with a guy where I was so nervous I accidentally threw a plate of spaghetti all over his lap.” He doesn’t know why he tells Magnus this. They barely know each other, and he didn’t even tell _Izzy_ this. But then again, Izzy would’ve made fun of him for it for the next ten years. Magnus doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. And indeed, instead of laugh at him, or make fun of him, Magnus just smiles.

“I once threw up on a girl’s shoes after she told me she loved me.” He says, and Alec snorts.

“Let’s not add that to our fake date history, I don’t think we’ll impress our neighbors with that.”

Magnus hums, “No, probably not. The girl wasn’t really impressed either. Okay, so, our second date? I say bowling. We’re pulling out all the cliché’s now.”

“I suck at bowling,” Alec blurts out, thinking back to that one time Izzy convinced him to go bowling with her and Jace and he actually managed to accidentally hit Jace in the face with a bowling ball. Jace had broken his nose and continued not to talk to Alec for two weeks for ‘ruining a work of art’.

“Good, so then I can stand behind you and show you how. You know, standing a little bit closer than necessary, my breath on your neck, my hands on your waist,” Magnus wiggles his eyebrows, and Alec once again has to try very hard not to blush.

It’s a bit unprofessional, the way Magnus seems to get under his skin so easily. He’s a _Deputy U.S. Marshal_ for god’s sake. He’s supposed to be able to handle someone flirting with him without turning into a blubbering mess. He shouldn’t even be flirting _at all_. This is his mission, his _job_ and he can’t let himself be distracted by something as ridiculous as some comment by a guy with admittedly very, _very_ pretty eyes.

“Yeah,” Alec eventually coughs out. “Bowling. Helping out. Perfect second date.”

Magnus seems immensely amused by Alec’s reaction, and Alec kind of wants to hate him a little. He really can’t, though. If anything, he finds he really enjoys Magnus’s company. He’s not at all what Alec expected. His file paints him as rebellious, a misfit, a party goer. In reality, Magnus is kind, and funny, and really easy to talk to. Alec guesses that just proves once again that people are not their file. He hopes that counts for him as well.

“Third date I was thinking dinner at my place? Oh, and I try to cook for you, but I’m too nervous so I fuck up immensely, so eventually we end up with a burnt pasta sauce and take out. Which we eat while watching movies on the couch.” Magnus says, and he sounds genuinely excited about the idea of this fake date.

“How much dates are we going to plan?” Alec asks, smiling.

“How much longer till we are at our new home?” Magnus fires back, and Alec shrugs.

“Good point. Okay, so, we’re on the third date. Let’s say we eventually fall asleep watching movies and when we wake up it’s _way too late_ for me to go home so obviously it’s best for me to stay over,” It feels kind of weird, going along in the creation of these fake dates, but Alec finds he also actually really likes it. It’s weirdly grounding, building this backstory for this person, this Adam Jones, that he’s going to have to pretend to be for the next upcoming weeks. It makes it a lot more real.

“ _Excellent_ ,” Magnus says, excitedly clapping his hands together. “Okay, so after that we sort of started hanging out at each other’s apartments more and more, until you’re pretty much already living at my place which is probably the moment I tell you to get your shit together and move in fully already.”

“Sounds romantic,” Alec deadpans, but he can’t help himself from smiling. It actually sounds really nice. “Wait, why aren’t we moving into my apartment?”

“No offense, Alexander, but you really don’t seem like the kind of person that owns a cozy, homey apartment that screams to be lived in.” Magnus says. He’s obviously not meant to sound judging, but the thing is, he’s right. Alec’s apartment is bare and boring and even _he_ feels lonely there sometimes.

Alec momentarily wonders what that would be like, dating someone and then slowly worming their way into each other’s lives. Leaving small pieces of themselves at each other’s apartments. T-shirts, underwear, a toothbrush. He’s never really had that. He’s been on dates before, sure, but it’s never reached that point where it became serious enough to have regular sleepovers and slowly integrate in the other’s life. He would like that, though. The idea of coming home to his normally bare and cold apartment and seeing these little parts of another person, reminding him he’s not alone even though they’re not actually there. “You have a point,” Alec eventually says, grip tightening on the steering wheel.

Magnus sends him a calculating look, but doesn’t comment on it, “So our marriage. Who proposed to who? How? Where? Did we have a big wedding or a small one? Where there doves? Did we get married in Vegas? Oh the possibilities are _endless_.”

“I don’t think we would really be selling the whole ‘young cute newlyweds moving to the suburbs to start a family’ thing if we got married in _Vegas_.” Alec says, and Magnus frowns. “Besides, uh, personally I’m not really one for flashy big wedding, I think. It’s. Uh, maybe something small? Like we only invited friends and family, and had a party afterwards where Jace got spectacularly drunk and told you he’d chop of your balls and use them as Christmas tree ornaments if you ever broke my heart.” It sounds like something Jace would do. Alec can almost picture it, Jace aggressively waving his arms around as he’s threatening Alec’s future husband, eventually being dragged away by an exasperated Clary.

Magnus snorts. “Your family sounds lovely.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, as your fake husband I can assure you you are totally save from any ball threats,” Alec jokes. Which, what. Alec’s never really one for joking around, especially not with someone he literally just met. But here he is, having known Magnus for not even an hour, trying to make him laugh. Because he _likes_ Magnus. Magnus is nice, and funny, and Alec can totally see them becoming friends. Maybe this whole mission wasn’t so bad after all. “And, uh, I guess I proposed? Or maybe we both wanted to? Like, you were planning this whole grand proposal and then I just kind of sprung it to you over take out one evening and you essentially got really annoyed with me because I ruined _your_ proposal so I thought you were going to say no.”

“Straight out of a romance novel, I _love_ it,” Magnus says, eyes gleaming with excitement. “God, I never thought planning a fake love life could be so much _fun_. I should really go into hiding more often.”

“I think you’re the first person in the witness protection program to ever say that,” Alec says, “Most people hate it. But then again, the reason why the need the program are never really the best.” The mood suddenly drops visibly in the car. Before, they had light conversation going on, and sure, the part of Magnus going into hiding was mentioned, but the _why_ was unspoken.

Alec can’t imagine what it must be like for Magnus. His father is a sought after criminal, facing lifelong in jail, and the only way Magnus can escape from the criminals his father was friends with was by selling him out in exchange for protection. Hell, Alec and his own father don’t always get along, but he couldn’t imagine having to sell him out for anything.

“Yeah,” Magnus mutters, and for the first time he doesn’t seem like the confident, loud person he had been all this time. He just seemed kind of… sad. It doesn’t last long though, because Magnus smiles as he say, “Our honeymoon was totally a disaster, by the way.”

Alec takes the change of topic, understands it and respects it, and snorts. “Totally. Cockroaches in the hotel room, rain for the entire week.”

“Food poisoning!” Magnus says, in an excited tone that’s probably not often used when saying those exact words. “And when we come home everyone is sure we’re going to get a divorce, that’s how horrible it was.”

“But we don’t.” Alec says, and Magnus smiles.

“No of course we don’t. If anything the whole thing brought us closer together. I mean, you’ve truly seen it all when you and your husband spend the entire day in the bathroom with horrible stomach aches. And other unpleasant activities,” he pulls a face. “Plus, that trip to Rome a few months later totally made up for it.”

“I’ve never actually been to Rome,” Alec admits, “I’ve never been outside America at all really.”

“It’s beautiful,” Magnus mushes, staring off into space like he is envisioning himself in Rome right at that moment. “There’s this magic about Rome that makes you feel at home even though you’re nothing but a tourist. You can just feel the history of the place hanging in the air. It’s kind of overwhelming but at the same time you never want to leave.”

“Sounds amazing,” Alec says sincerely, as he tries not to sound too jealous. Growing up, there was no time for travelling or seeing the world. His parents were rarely ever there, always working, and when they were they were pushing their children to do better in school, to do better in sports, to be the best there was. There was no time for exploring cities or going on trips. There was only homework and trainings.

“It is,” Magnus says with a sigh, “The best thing is the small tiny markets just outside the city center. Like, Rome has a lot of important landmarks and they’re all impressive and beautiful, but you have these markets on the edges of the center and you know, these are just normal everyday markets for the citizens of Rome and they’re so _vibrant_. Everyone is friendly and nice and it’s like a tiny piece of magic in this hectic world. I don’t know, I really like Rome.”

“You go there often?” Alec ask, genuinely curious. Though they’ve been talking for quite some time now, Magnus has barely shared anything about himself. And Alec’s intrigued. Magnus seems nothing like his files told him, and he’s curious to find out who the real Magnus Bane is.

“Not really,” Magnus says with the shake of his head, “It’s a beautiful city, but it’s also very good at reminding you how lonely you are.” He doesn’t say anything else, and for the first time since they started talking, a silence falls over the car. It’s not necessarily an uncomfortable silence, more one in which both Magnus and Alec are thinking about everything they’ve just talked about.

Alec is trying to focus on it from a business perspective. This is a mission, after all. This is his job. He needs to protect Magnus, and with that comes making sure no one finds out who he really is. So it’s crucial their stories match up. He goes over it in his head a few times, the lives of Mark and Adam Jones, just to make sure he remembers it all. When he plays it out, it kind of seems like the fairy tale relationship he’ll never have.

His job comes first, always, and he’s never going to find someone who fits in that, who’s going to accept that. He’s never going to get a cute neighbor who knocks on his door all frantic asking him to help him find his cat. He’s never going to go on multiple dates with someone until they’re practically living together. He’s never going to find someone who he proposes to while they were planning on proposing to him. He’s never going to have that fairytale wedding where his siblings are no doubt going to immensely embarrass him. He’s not going to have the horrible honeymoon, he’s never going to move to the suburbs with someone to raise a family.

He has a duty to serve his country, and he can’t have both. His parents have proven that. Though highly successful in their job, they barely have time for each other, for their kids. Alec chose a career path that doesn’t allow family, and he doesn’t regret it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sadden him occasionally. Sometimes he wishes for a live like the one he and Magnus just came up with.

But he can’t and he won’t. This is work, this is his mission, this is his duty. Nothing more, nothing less.

“We’re here,” Alec says, not even five minutes later, as he turns down a horribly mundane looking street. The houses are moderately big, with immaculate green lawns. The whole street just _screams_ ‘normal and perfect’. It’s kind of scary, in a way.

When Alec parks the car on the driveway of their new house, which looks _exactly_ like all the other houses, both of them stay put for a second as they listen to the engine shut off. “So,” Magnus starts. “Ready to convince the neighborhood we’re madly in love?”

“No,” Alec says, honestly, because he doesn’t think it’s necessary to lie to Magnus. “But let’s do it.”

Magnus opens the car door and steps out, and Alec takes one last deep breath before following his example. He walks to the back to open the trunk to get their bags, and tosses the keys to Magnus, who’s waiting on the path to their front door. When he joins him, his own bag in his right hand and Magnus’s in his left, Magnus has just managed to turn the lock and is waiting on Alec with his hand on the doorknob. “Ready, babe?” Magnus says with a joking wink, and Alec rolls his eyes. 

“Go for it,” He says with a nod, and Magnus swings the door open, he goes to step inside, but Alec holds him back, stepping in first. “Just in case it isn’t safe,” he says, when Magnus sends him a confused look.

He places the bags down in the small hallway and does a quick check of the perimeter, as Magnus wanders in behind him. “I’m pretty sure it’s safe, Alexander,” he quips. “Your department would be doing a piss poor job if this safe house had already been compromised.”

“Just making sure,” Alec mutters, running his fingers along the curtains, checking for bugs or hidden cameras.

Alec can’t see Magnus, but he can feel his eyes on him. He ignores it. He checks everything, from curtains to plants, while Magnus putters around in the kitchen, when he’s finally satisfied, feels like the house is truly safe, he goes to join Magnus in the kitchen.

“We need to go grocery shopping,” Magnus says. “They might’ve provided us with furniture and toothpaste, but the only edible thing in here is the muesli bar I have in my bag, but I’m pretty sure that’s completely crushed.”

“Yeah,” Alec says, falling down on one of the kitchen chairs. He’s suddenly feeling very tired from all the impressions and events of the morning. “Not right now, though. I just need to take a moment to take this all in.” He adds.

“It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it?” Magnus says, looking out the kitchen window into the backyard, which seems to endlessly stretch out, with the occasional flower bed here and there. It is impressive, but it’s not what Alec was talking about.

Alec was talking about everything in general. About Magnus, about the house, about the sudden realization of how _real_ this mission is. He takes a few deep breaths as Magnus prattles on about how pretty the garden is and how they should totally host a barbeque to introduce themselves to the neighbors.

He can do this. Izzy is right, he’ll be fine. _He’ll be fine_.

 


	3. no training wheels left for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO i know i originally said new chapter would be up on sunday BUT today is my birthday and what better way to celebrate then with a new chapter???? 
> 
> anyway, i'd like to subtitle this chapter 'in which alec and magnus discuss personal boundaries, cereal preferences, and other super important things'

They go to explore the house after lounging around in the kitchen for a while. Even though Alec had previously searched the house for bugs, or camera, or anything, he didn’t really spend much time really looking at it. It’s beautiful, with a cozy kitchen, a light and open living room, a spotless and spacey bathroom, a guest room that’s turned into an office, complete with fancy computer gear.

And the bedroom. Well.

“There’s only one bed.” Alec comments, and Magnus snorts.

“Impressive observation skills you got there, soldier.”

“No but,” Alec sighs, “Never mind. I’ll sleep on the floor, you take the bed.” He says, dumping their bags at the foot of the bed and unpacking his own, stowing it all away in one of the drawers of the only closet in the room.

“What, no, don’t be ridiculous.” Magnus says. He’s leaning against the doorway of the bedroom, _their_ bedroom, and he’s frowning at Alec. “We can share. Or you can sleep on the couch if it really bothers you.”

Alec shakes his head. “Couch is not an option. The living room has windows looking out over the neighborhood, the neighbors would think we’d be having relationship problems before we’d even formally introduced themselves. Besides, I’m fine. I was in the military for a while, I slept on worse things.”

Magnus raises an eyebrow, like he’s about to ask _what_ Alec exactly slept on that was worst then the hardwood floor of their bedroom. “Fine,” he says instead, pushing himself away from the doorway to go unpack his own bag. “But the bed is there for you if you change your mind. I certainly don’t object to sharing.” He winks at Alec and Alec turns away so Magnus can’t see his blush.

They unpack in silence, which Alec is grateful for. Magnus is a great person, but he’s also a _lot_. He’s everything Alec isn’t and it’s a great deal to get used to. He’s loud and bold where Alec is quiet and reserved. He’s bright and colorful where Alec would rather be invisible. He’s quite literally the sun to Alec’s moon, and at times Alec doesn’t really know how to deal with that. He’s never been really good at making new friends -- it took him weeks to warm up to Clary and he still glares at Simon every time he enters a room -- but yet with Magnus it’s so easy, and it’s kind of overwhelming. Alec isn’t used to just get along with someone right from the start. Usually there’s a longer period of slowly warming up to each other, slowly getting to know each other more and more until Alec trusts them enough to show them the real him. With Magnus, Alec was willing to tell him his entire life story five minutes after meeting him and it kind of terrifies him.

When they’re done, they collapse on the couch on the living room, and Magnus starts flicking through channels on the TV. He mentions something about groceries as he seems to settle on reruns of Project Runway, but before Alec can respond, he feels himself drifting off to sleep. When he wakes up, Magnus is still watching Project Runway, but the sun’s gone down and it’s clearly too late to go shopping.

“I ordered pizza,” Magnus says, when he sees Alec looking around slightly disoriented.

“Oh,” Alec says, cursing himself for falling asleep. He’s normally not really the napping type, especially not around people he doesn’t know that well. When he’s asleep he’s vulnerable, and Alec doesn’t like being vulnerable. “Thanks?”

“No problem,” Magnus says cheerily, “I hope you like pepperoni.”

“Yeah, uh, I do. That’s cool,” Alec says, rubbing the sleep form his eyes. This is the other reason he hates napping. He always wakes up disoriented and bleary. Alec stretches out and feels the material of his button up creeping up. What he doesn’t feel, however, are Magnus’s eyes on him, tracing the small strip of skin. “You still watching Project Runway?”

Magnus hums, and hands Alec the remote, a clear invitation to change channels if he wants to, but Alec places the remote on the table and leans back, content to watch mindless reality TV. It’s the first thing all day he doesn’t have to give too much thought, and that’s kind of welcome right now.

When their pizza’s finally arrive, Alec nearly rips the boxes from the hands of the delivery guy, suddenly realizing how hungry he is. Magnus pays, and as Alec’s walking back to the living room he can hear him say, “I’m so sorry for my husband. He turns into quite the cave man when he’s hungry.”

It gives Alec a funny feeling in his stomach, but he ignores it as he falls back down on the couch and tries not to moan in pure pleasure as he opens one of the box and is greeted with the wonderful smell of pizza.

When Magnus enters the room again he send Alec an amused look when he notices Alec has somehow managed to already eat two slices in the time it took for Magnus to pay the delivery guy and walk back into the living room. He doesn’t say anything about it, though, as he sits down on the couch and grabs his own box.

“Cheers,” Magnus says, holding up a piece of pizza and gently knocking it against Alec’s, “To our new house and our new lives. To Mark and Adam Jones.” He laughs at the last part and Alec snorts.

A silence falls over them as they eat, one that is eventually broken by Alec. “It’s weird,” he says, plucking at a piece of pepperoni, “So far this doesn’t feel at all different from being at home, you know? Like, it’s supposed to be this big mission of super importance and now we’re sitting on the couch and eating pizza.”

Magnus snorts, “Well, I don’t know what you were expecting, but I’m pretty sure you’re just a glorified babysitter. I’m also pretty sure that ‘nothing exciting should happen’ is like _in your job description_.”

Alec sighs, “I know, but it’s just, I’m so used to normal missions, that this is just kind of. It’s almost anti-climactic?”

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “If you’re worried about the lack of climaxes happening during your mission I’m sure I could help you out with that,” he adds a wink to the end, and Alec promptly chokes on a bite of his pizza.

“That’s not what I, I just meant, It’s not,” Alec stutters, when he manages to stop coughing, and Magnus laughs.

“Don’t worry, Alexander, I know that’s not what you meant. I was just joking.” He waves around his slice of pizza as he talks and Alec absentmindedly thinks the way he’s managed to somehow not spill any sauce or peperoni anywhere is kind of magical. “I get what you mean,” Magnus ads, changing the topic and saving Alec further embarrassment. “It kind of just feels like friend hanging out.”

Alec isn’t sure if there friends just yet. But he truly did have fun today, and the idea of having to spend another few months with Magnus doesn’t scare him as much anymore as it did in the beginning. He thinks they’ll get along just fine, even. Magnus smiles at him and something warm settles in Alec’s stomach.

Yeah, he doesn’t think he’ll mind hanging out with Magnus as much.

\--

It takes ages for Alec to fall asleep. He isn’t quite sure whether this is because he’s literally _sleeping on the floor_ , or because of all these thoughts that keep bouncing through his head, but no matter what, he finds himself tossing and turning for hours.

Magnus, on the other hand, had fallen asleep the second his back had hit the mattress. His soft snores now filled the room, and on any other day Alec might have found the breath of another person in the room calming, a reminder that he isn’t alone.

Now Magnus’s snores were just underlining the fact that Alec had to protect him, that this was a mission, that he had a job to fulfill. Going into this, he thought it would be easy. He’d just have to keep a clear mind and not get invested. At the time, that seems easy. But now, now he finds himself actually wanting to _befriend_ Magnus. For some reason they get on like a house of fire, something that _never_ happens to Alec.

He twists his wedding ring around his finger, a nervous habit that had taken him less than a day to pick up. Except, maybe it wasn’t a nervous habit at all. Maybe it was a reminder of what was a stake here. The future of his siblings was at stake here. If he failed, the chances of them getting the opportunities in life that they deserved became marginally smaller.

Alec doesn’t fall asleep until the first rays of light already start filtering through the window and wakes up again way too soon after.

When he does, he can’t hear Magnus’s snoring anymore and momentarily panics. Especially when he jumps up and doesn’t spot him in bed either, and he can’t hear any noises coming from the rest of the house. ‘ _Well done_ , _Lightwood. You already fucking lost  him on the first fucking day_.’ He thinks, checking the bathroom as well. Still no sign of Magnus.

It’s unlikely something actually happened to him. After all, it’s their _first day_. If their hideout had already been compromised, it hadn’t been a fairly good hideout to begin with. But Alec is sleep deprived, on the edge, and just really fucking scared he already managed to fuck things up. So finds himself reaching for the gun he keeps in his suitcase, slowly making his way to the door of the bedroom. He pears around the corner, but sees nothing, gun pointed forward, he inches forward, through the hallway, towards the kitchen.

Which is when he hears a noise coming through the door, and he doesn’t hesitate to kick it open with full force and point his gun at whoever is currently sitting at the dinner table.

It’s Magnus, of course it’s Magnus. He has a glass of water in his hands, his phone in the other, and he’s staring at Alec, and more importantly _the gun pointed at his face_ , with wide eyes.

“Good morning?” Magnus say, sounding a bit hesitant, instead of freaking terrified, and it’s… interesting. Alec lowers the gun with a sigh of relief.

“Sorry, I, sorry.” Alec says, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck, I’m really sorry. I just, I slept really badly and I kept thinking about how something might happen to you and then you weren’t there when I woke up and I just. I kind of panicked. I’m sorry.”

Magnus smiles softly, which is the last thing Alec expects from someone who was just held at gun point. “Hey, it’s fine, I get it. But look, I’m okay,” he gestures to himself and Alec smiles weakly. “Plus, it’s good to know I’m in  capable hands in case something does happen.” He winks at that and Alec momentarily admires Magnus ability to shrug everything off like it's no big deal.

“Yeah,” Alec says, “I’m still sorry. I’m just going to-“ he holds up the gun and waves his other hand in the direction of the bedroom, before disappearing back in the hallway. Once there, he leans against the wall for a second, breathing out slowly. It’s fine, nothing happened, he didn’t screw up, nobody died. Magnus is safe, he is safe, everything is _fine_. He takes a deep breath and goes to put away the gun, before making his way back to the kitchen.

This time he has more time to really observe Magnus, who hasn’t moved from the dinner table since Alec left the kitchen. He’s still wearing his pajamas, which consist of a fancy looking silk blue buttoned shirt with gold swirls on it. The top buttons are undone, which means he’s showing quite the bit of chest -- not that Alec is complaining. The shirt is paired with a pair of shorts made from the same material, and on anyone else it would probably look ridiculous, but Magnus makes it work. If anything, he looks more relaxed and natural in these flashy pajamas then he did in the simple grey sweater he was wearing yesterday, as part of his disguise. The shorts show off Magnus’s legs and his thighs, and it’s, well. It’s a sight.

“You want some water?” Magnus asks, and Alec’s eyes widen. He didn’t even realize he was staring at Magnus and now Magnus is actually calling him out for being _thirsty._ This entire morning is slowly starting to make it into the top five of most embarrassing moment of Alec’s _life_. But then Magnus just says, “It’s the only thing we have in the house right now. Since, you know, we didn’t actually do any groceries yesterday.”

Alec’s shoulders actually sag in relief. “Yeah, that’s. We should probably do that. Soon. Or something.”

Magnus smiles softly at him. “You know what? You look like you could really use some coffee right now. So how about we get dressed, go to get some breakfast, and then afterwards we’ll do groceries. Sound like a plan?” Alec nods and Magnus gets up, putting his glass on the counter.

“Yeah,” Alec mutters. “Coffee.”

God knows he need it right now.

\--

Magnus finds a restaurant that serves breakfast not too far away from them, and Alec drives while Magnus prattles on about different kinds of breakfasts all around the world from the passenger seat.

“You know, although I can totally dig a well prepared English breakfast, I’m more into the southern European breakfasts. Just some coffee, a croissant, that’s the kind of stuff I dig. Light, not too hard to digest, but a good layer of food to start you day. What about you Alexander?”

“Uh,” says Alec, who had zoned out somewhere halfway Magnus’s very, _very_ long list of ‘breakfast’s around the world’. “Coffee. Coffee is always good. And uh, I don’t know, I usually just eat whatever’s in my fridge. Yoghurt? Oh and on the weekends my siblings usually sleep over so then I make pancakes.”

“Pancakes!” Magnus exclaims, and he sounds delighted. “You have to make me some of those once. I bet they’re delicious.”

“If we uh, pick up the ingredients while we’re at the supermarket I can make you some tomorrow?” Alec says, as turns the car into the car park. “We’re here by the way.”

“You are slowly becoming the best fake husband I’ve ever had,” Magnus tells him seriously, and Alec frowns.

“Are you trying to tell me I’m actually not the first person you got fake married too?” Alec asks, as he parks the car, and Magnus laughs.

“No, you’re the only one. Which is why you’re currently the front runner,” with that he steps out of the car, barely waiting for Alec as he’s already bouncing towards the restaurant.

“All that talk about breakfast foods made me _so hungry_ ,” Magnus says, when Alec finally manages to catch up with him.

“Yeah, uh,” Alec runs a hand through his hair. “I’m just _really_ looking forward to that fresh cup of coffee, if I’m honest.” Alec says, and Magnus laughs again. It’s kind of amazing, how Magnus can already be so loud and vibrant in the mornings. Alec had struck him as the kind of person that did not like mornings _at all_. Alec guesses he can just add it to the list of things about Magnus that didn’t fit with the stereotype his file painted at all.

They find a booth in the back, and inspect their menu’s while the waitress gets them their coffees. “Oh man,” Magnus says, “I can’t choose, everything looks so _good_. Alexander, we need to come here more often. Like, every day. Three times.”

Alec snorts. “You haven’t even tasted the food yet.”

Magnus leans forward, grabbing Alec’s face to pull him closer. Alec lets out a confused noise. “Listen, Alec, sometimes you just _know_ , okay? This is the kind of food that can’t go wrong. If this isn’t the best breakfast you have ever eaten in your entire life I will literally eat my entire wardrobe.”

“First of all,” Alec says, voice morphed by the fact that Magnus is still squishing his cheeks together, “You wouldn’t mind eating your wardrobe, because you _hate it_.” He’s not wrong. Magnus spent a solid ten minutes complaining about the dark grey sweater he was wearing when they were getting ready to leave. “Second of all, if the food is really as great as you say it is, we can go here _once a week_.”

“Awesome!” Magnus says, leaning forward to press a kiss to Alec’s nose. “We’ll make it a Sunday date tradition.”

Alec barely registers what he’s saying, too stunned by the fact _Magnus just kissed him on the nose_. He’s about to ask _why_ , when he spots the waitress walk over. She clearly saw the exchange.

“I must say,” She says to Magnus when she reaches their table, “You and your boyfriend are absolutely adorable.” She hands them their coffee’s, and Alec gladly accepts his, immediately taking a sip. Unsurprisingly, he burns his mouth.

“Husband, actually,” Magnus says proudly, holding up his hand, showcasing the ring, “We got married last year, but we moved here yesterday. We really want to build are lives here, you know? It’s such a lovely neighborhood.” He looks at Alec with an extremely convincing love struck look on his face. Alec is still mostly just a bit flabbergasted by the nose kiss, and just blinks at him.

The waitress looks like she’s going to burst from excitement. “Oh, that’s so great! Welcome to our neighborhood, I guess! Can I take your orders?”

They both order, although Alec can’t necessarily remember _what_ , and the second she’s out of ear shot, he turns to Magnus. “You kissed my _nose_.”

“Yeah!” Magnus says cheerily, “She totally bought it, didn’t she? I told you we’d be the best fake husbands ever.”

“Uh, I mean, I just, uh, didn’t expect you to do that?” He looks down at his hands, which are fumbling with his coffee cup.

 “ _Oh_ , oh shit, I totally overstepped your personal boundaries, didn’t I? Oh, fuck, Alec, I’m really sorry,” Alec glances up, realizing this is the first time Magnus has actually called him Alec. He looks really upset. “I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Alec shakes his head, “It didn’t. It wasn’t _uncomfortable_. I just wasn’t expecting it. I know you can’t like, give me a warning or something, I just, maybe we need to talk. About boundaries and stuff.” He distracts himself by taking another sip of his coffee. It’s still too hot, but he’s burned his mouth now anyway, so it’s not like he can actually feel it. Or taste it.

The weird thing is, he just hadn’t really thought about the fact that pretending to be married also meant showing _affection_. If they really want to sell the whole ‘madly in love’ thing, they need to have at least some level of touchiness with each other. And that doesn’t bother Alec, of course it doesn’t. He just hadn’t thought of it yet and it _surprised him_. Especially since it felt surprisingly natural.

So far, everything he does with Magnus feels like they’ve already been doing it for years. The drive to their new house immediately felt familiar and comfortable. Eating pizza on the couch last night felt like they did that almost every day. And now sitting in this booth, messing around and being affectionate with each other, feels like it’s already a family tradition. Like they’ve been coming here for months now. Alec doesn’t really know what that means. It almost makes him feel uncomfortable, how comfortable he is around Magnus.

“Yeah, sure,” Magnus says, stirring an absurd amount of sugar into his coffee, “So, what are my do’s and don’ts?”

“Uh,” Alec says. “Do’s would be… hand holding I guess? And hugs and casual touches, that’s all fine I mean. But the kissing, uh, maybe let’s just stick to cheek kisses? I’m just. I don’t think I’d be comfortable with like, making out with you or something, and I honestly don’t think it’s necessary.” Alec cringes when he realizes how harsh his words sounds and he immediately starts backpedaling. “I mean, no, that came out wrong, you’re not. It’s not that I wouldn’t make out with you, uh, you’re. Well, you’re probably a really good kisser, and under other circumstances I guess I wouldn’t necessarily _mind_ , but I really don’t know you that well and this is a _mission_ and we have to stay professional so I just don’t really think it’s a good idea. So. Yeah.”

Honestly, what did Alec ever do to the universe that it decided to make him as socially awkward as possible.

Magnus, bless his soul, doesn’t laugh at Alec’s horrible rambling speech. Instead he smiles softly and takes a sip of his coffee, before responding. “That’s fine. So, no kissing, unless it _seriously_ endangers the mission, I guess. Though I can’t imagine that happening,” he pauses, like he’s genuinely thinking about scenarios in which him and Alec have to make out to save their skins. “If there’s anything else you’re uncomfortable with, please tell me,” he sends Alec a serious look over the rim of his coffee cup, and it looks weirdly  like something that belongs in some dramatic Hollywood movie. Alec feels a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “After all, in the end, we’re in this together. It’s you and me now.”

At that exact moment their waiter comes back, and the expression on her face tells Alec she caught the last part of what Magnus was saying. “Here’s your food,” she says, placing it down on the table, smile still playing at her lips. “I’m Kaelie, by the way. Just let me know if you need anything else.”

“We will,” Magnus says, clearly already distracted by the plate of food in front of him. He digs into his eggs with the enthusiasm of a four year old, and Alec smiles at him before taking a bite of the food himself.

Though Alec, hates to admit it, Magnus was right. The food is delicious delicious. It’s the perfect combination of hearty, sweet and greasy, and Alec finds himself eating more than he probably actually needs. Across from him, Magnus is digging into his food with the same fever, and Alec immediately knows they’ll come here more often. He secretly kind of really likes the idea of building up these little traditions. It makes everything a little more bearable.

He knows there’s a danger in it too. The danger that he’ll get too attached to Magnus, to this life. That when he gets back, and Magnus inevitably leaves again, he’ll be left behind with a hole in his heart that he doesn’t know how to fill. Has to go back to an empty apartment, with no one to eat breakfast with in the mornings.

But that’s miles away. Right now, he’s sitting across from Magnus, in a tiny diner, eating the best breakfast food he’s probably ever had in his life. Him and Magnus are becoming friends, and Alec already knows he can count on him. Magnus is right, they’re in this together, and they’re going to have to make the best of it.

When he goes to take another sip of his coffee, it has gone cold. Magnus snorts with laughter at his annoyed face.

\--

Grocery shopping is an adventure, in the sense that Magnus and Alec turn out to have _very_ different tastes when it comes to food. Alec is a very practical eater. Sure, he enjoys splurging a little occasionally, usually when his siblings come over for dinner, but normally he just sticks to simple, quick foods.

Magnus, however, is an absolute food _snob_.

“Listen, Alexander,” he says, when they’re standing in the cereal aisle. “Boxed mac and cheese I can deal with. I understand that there are days where you’re too lazy to make your own. But cornflakes, cornflakes is where I draw the line.”

Alec raises an eyebrow, staring down at the box of cornflakes in his hands. “What’s wrong with cornflakes?”

“What’s wrong with? Oh my god,” Magnus says, looking at Alec like he is crazy, “It’s _cornflakes_ , that’s what’s wrong with it! It’s bland and boring and _tasteless_.”

Alec frowns. “I _like_ cornflakes,” he says, and winces when he realizes he sound like a petulant child. “It’s simple and nutritious,” he adds, but Magnus just shakes his head.

“The whole world of cereal right at your feet and you go with _cornflakes_. You could’ve gone with lucky charms! Fruit loops! Cheerios! I mean I wouldn’t have approved of those either, but it would’ve been better than _cornflakes_.” Magnus actually looks disgusted.

Alec sighs, and places the box back on the shelf. “Fine,” he says, and he can’t believe he’s actually giving in to Magnus’s ridiculous distaste of Alec’s cereal choices, “So what do you recommend then?”

“See, the thing is, my dear Alexander, that cereal is greatly overrated. I mean, it’s okay, but _granola,_ that’s where it’s really at. It’s crunchy, it’s healthy, it’s everything cereal wishes it was.” Magnus says, grabbing a box of granola of the shelf and dropping it in their cart. “Trust me, this will _change your life_.”

Alec doubts that, but decides to let it go as he pushes their cart into the next aisle. “You reckon we got everything now?”

“I have no idea,” Magnus says, catching up to Alec. He walks next to Alec and Alec can feel Magnus’s hand hovering a little away from the small of Alec’s back, clearly waiting for Alec to either shrug it off or lean into it. Alec leans into it, extremely pleased with the fact Magnus actually _listened_ to him and tries to respect his boundaries a little bit more. It’s kind of new for him. His siblings never listen to him about anything, and especially not when he asks them to give a little bit of space. He’s pretty sure his parents haven’t actually listened to a word he’s said his entire life, unless it was work related.

To be listened to, to be respected, and to be understood, should not be such a big deal, but it is. For Alec, it is. Because Magnus doesn’t _know_ Alec, and Alec accepted this mission full well knowing he was going to have to pretend to be a husband, and yet Magnus backs off the second Alec tells him he’s a bit uncomfortable.

“We got stuff for breakfast, stuff for lunch, stuff for dinner,” Magnus sums up, effectively shaking Alec from his thoughts. “Snacks, drinks, and anything else we need we can easily pick up later, right?”

“Right,” Alec says, as he steers towards the cash register. Magnus’s hand is still on the small of his back, and his heat is radiating through Alec’s shirt. “And stuff for pancakes,” he says, and Magnus smiles.

“You’re such a good husband, spoiling me rotten,” he says, as they start loading their stuff on the conveyor belt. The woman standing in front of them looks back and sends them a soft smile. Alec nods at her, while Magnus rambles on about how he’s the best husband ever and he’d never ever trade Alec for anything.

When Alec looks at him, Magnus winks, and it’s clear he knows the woman is eavesdropping. “You know, I should thank you, later, when we’re at home,” Magnus says, leaning forwards a little, but careful to stay out of Alec’s personal space, “Show you how much I really appreciate it,” he winks again, and Alec swats at Magnus’s chest.

“ _Stop it,”_ he hisses, and Magnus laughs delightedly.

“I’m sorry, darling, you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you,” Magnus says, all sultry, and Alec glares at him.

“You are the _worst_ ,” he says, affectionately knocking Magnus over the head with the granola box before putting it on the conveyor belt as well.

“You love me, though,” Magnus says, fluttering his eyelashes at Alec.

Alec laughs, “Yeah, yeah, I love you _very much_.”

Magnus beams, and Alec momentarily mushes over the fact how easy it is for him to fall into this kind of banter with Magnus. Alec’s never been comfortable with showing affection, be it physical or verbal, yet here he is, practically flirting with someone he’s only known for a day.

Magnus, who’s flamboyant and loud and the complete opposite of everything Alec is, somehow managed to worm his way under Alec’s skin in the day it took for them to get to know each other. He gets him out of his shell without even trying, and makes Alec feel like he’s valid, like he’s important. Like he _matters_.

And he’s starting to think that maybe, at the end of all of this, he might’ve gained a friend for life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'a friend' LMAOOOOOOOOO SURE ALEC


	4. my mind is blind to everything but you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM OVERWHELMED WITH THE LOVE THIS FIC HAS GOTTEN OVER THE PAST WEEK THANK YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH !!!!! now, without further ado, chapter four. also known as 'meetings, musings, and noodles.' I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT <333

When they come home, Alec expects a relaxing afternoon, maybe watch some TV, talk to Magnus for a bit, read something. But instead his plans are rudely interrupted when the doorbell rings.

Alec is immediately on high alert. See, aside from the pizza delivery guy yesterday no one has actually rung their doorbell, and he can’t think of someone who _would_. They aren’t expecting any visitors, and he’s pretty sure that if his mother needed to contact him, she’d do it by phone. Which means that whoever is at the door could mean an immediate threat to Magnus.

Magnus is already at the door though, and Alec jumps up, runs over, and puts himself between Magnus and the door. Magnus, in return, lets out a surprised noise, but seems to accept it when he sees the tense set of Alec’s muscles. “You never know,” Alec mutters, to clarify, and Magnus nods.

Alec carefully opens the door, and finds a couple standing on their porch. They both seem about Magnus and Alec’s age, and they look exactly like the very stereotypical young suburban couple Magnus and Alec are trying so hard to be.

“Hello!” The girl says. She has blond hair that’s worked into a braid, and a smile so bright that Alec momentarily considers going back in the house to grab a pair of sunglasses. She’s holding what looks like a homemade apple pie. It smells delicious. “I’m Lydia, and this is John,” she gestures to the man next to her with her head and the guy holds up his hand in greeting. “We live next door and we thought we could come welcome you to the neighborhood!”

At this point Alec as realized that these people can’t be much of a threat, so he pushes the door open further so Magnus can get a good look as well. “Hi,” Alec says, and when there’s an awkward pause he adds, “Uh, nice to meet you?”

“Oh, excuse my husband, he’s horribly shy around new people,” Magnus says, stepping forward, charming smile on my face, “I’m Ma-“ he pauses, and Alec can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes he was about to say ‘Magnus’. “Mark,” He corrects, so fast Alec’s sure there’s no way Lydia and John noticed. “And this is my husband Adam,” he gestures to Alec, and Alec quickly fakes a smile.

“It’s very lovely to meet you,” Lydia says happily, “I have to admit both me and John were very curious when we saw the moving van appear. This house has been empty for a couple of years now, so you can imagine out surprise when we saw it was finally going to be inhabited again!”

“Thank you,” Magnus says, “We kind of can’t believe it’s been empty for so long either, it’s a lovely place.”

It’s a lie, and Alec knows it. Their department does this all the time. Buy a house, leave the ‘on sale’ sign in the front yard, and use it when you need to. The fact that they waited so long for this house indicates they must’ve found it a perfect hiding place, only meant for special cases. Like Magnus.

At that thought Alec glances sideways at Magnus, and momentarily wonders if he knows how big of a deal he is. How far his office is going to protect him. If he knows it isn’t normal for someone else to go undercover with you. He probably does. Magnus is a lot smarter than his files make him out to be.

“We made you a pie,” Lydia says proudly, “Well, actually John did, I’m not much of a baker. But, uh, we thought it might be a nice welcoming present for you guys.”

John, who still hasn’t said a word yet, just nods sagely.

“Thank you, darling,” Magnus says, accepting the pie with an almost terrifyingly charming smile, “You know what, why don’t you and your husband come in and enjoy a slice with us? It would be great to get to know some people in the neighborhood. After all, we’re not planning on leaving anytime soon.”

Alec almost snorts at that. Because in five to six months, they’ll be gone, and it will be like they never existed. He almost pulls Magnus aside to tell him that befriending these people is a bad idea, that in the end they’ll have to leave and they’ll never see them again, but he stops himself. If Magnus and Alec only spend these months with each other and no one else, they will eventually drive each other crazy. Maybe Magnus is right, and it’ll be nice to have some people in the neighborhood to talk to.

Lydia immediately starts protesting, saying she doesn’t want to overstay their welcome, and Alec surprises both Magnus and himself by speaking up, “No, honestly, it’s no trouble, we’d love for you to join us.”

So that’s how they end up sitting in the living room together, all holding a small dish with the delicious smelling apple pie and cup of coffee in front of them. Alec feels oddly like a stereotypical commercial for the American dream.

“We moved her just last year,” Lydia says, between bites of pie. “Wanted to start a family, you know? Figured this was the best and safest neighborhood.”

“The garden was also definitely a plus,” John says, and it’s one of the first things he’s actually said all afternoon. Alec has been watching John and Lydia, mostly because he still doesn’t fully trust them, and they have an interesting dynamic going on. John is a calm, composed man, contradicting Lydia’s talkative personality, but for some reason they work perfectly together. It’s clear in the way John looks at her, the way he treats her, that he’s always going to put his wife first. The love in his eyes when he turns to look at her is so overwhelming Alec feels like he’s intruding every single time. He doesn’t say much, yes, but he lets her shine, which seems to be exactly what Lydia needs.

“Me and Adam picked this place for the exact same reason,” Magnus says, and Alec’s undercover name still sounds foreign on his tongue. “Raising a family has always been our dream, and we feel like this is the perfect location,” with that he looks back and Magnus and smiles so fondly that Alec can’t help but smile back.

“So how did you guys meet?” Lydia asks, leaning forward “Because seeing you two it’s like you’ve known each other your whole lives.”

Alec nearly chokes on his pie at that. Because even though in their fabricated time line they’ve known each other for a few years, enough to establish the kind of connection that would give of the vibe that they’ve known each other forever, but in reality they’ve only known each other for a _day_. And even though Alec already had the feeling they were getting on like a house on fire, it’s weird to have other people notice it as well.

“Oh god, I wish,” Magnus says, “No, no we met a few years ago, when we were still living in the same apartment building. I lost my cat, Chairman Meow. I was in _hysterics_. The little bugger is no longer with us, sadly, but god, I loved that cat more than I love Adam,” He sends Alec a wink and Alec pretends to be fake offended by frowning at him. “Anyway, he’d run off, and I couldn’t find him anywhere. Luckily, my dear neighbor was willing to help me out,” he pats Alec on the knee and Alec sends him a soft smile. “Eventually we found him hanging out in the dumpsters downstairs. I was so grateful I asked Adam to go for coffee with me as a thank you.”

“Which we all know was just an excuse to ask me out on a date,” Alec says.

“Oh but darling, I couldn’t just flat out ask you, it would’ve killed you. You were so horribly shy back then,” Magnus says, and it sounds so _fond_ that even Alec believes him for a second. That is until he realizes that this is not _real_. They’re currently playing the lives of Adam and Mark Jones, not Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane.

“So how did you two meet?” Alec asks, trying to distract himself. It works, because Lydia immediately launches in an excited story about how she and John used to work together and how it took him years to work up the courage to finally ask her out, and John smiles so brightly at her Alec thinks it must be hurting his cheeks.

Alec takes a tentative sip of his coffee, lukewarm at this point, and allows himself a small moment to lean back a little bit. He lets the conversation wash over him, contributing with the occasional nod or comment, but doesn’t start fully paying attention again until Lydia says, “Oh, you two should totally host a barbecue this weekend! You know, to introduce yourself to the neighbors! We have these kind of parties around here all the time, and it’s always a lot of fun.”

Alec is about to politely decline, but Magnus gets there first, “Oh, that would be great, wouldn’t it Adam?”

Magnus is giving him his most charming smile, and Alec sighs in defeat, “Yeah, we could totally host a barbecue.”

Because honestly, even though Alec isn’t a big fan of the idea, it’s a great way of integrating in their neighborhood. Their main mission is not to stick out like a sore thumb, and thanks to some sort of weird suburban logic, giving a party is the best way to fly under the radar. And like he said before, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know some other people. Otherwise him and Magnus are going to get sick of each other real fast.

Plus, looking at it from a U.S. Marshal point of view, it is a great way to keep an eye on the neighbors. Sure, Alec trusts the office to have picked a safe neighborhood, but you can never be too sure. A barbecue would be a great way for Alec to see what he’s dealing with here, see if he can trust these people.

So far, he’s had no reason to worry. Lydia and John seem nice, and they don’t really look like they could hurt a bone in anyone’s body, let alone be ruthless enough to work for the people that want to see Magnus dead.  He’s still on his toes, but he always is. That’s just how he was raised. Don’t trust anyone, always stay wary. He momentarily wonders why he lets that believe slip around Magnus so much.

Lydia and Magnus have started talking about the logistics of the barbecue, and John offers them the usage of his and Lydia’s grill. Magnus tells them excitedly how great Alec is at grilling burgers, and Alec is just glad that he’s mostly right. He hasn’t had much barbecues in the past, but the ones they did have, he was usually in charge of the grill and he knows how to make a burger without making it taste like a lump of coal.

Eventually Lydia and John finish their coffee and their pie, and decide that it’s probably time to go.

“Thank you for having us,” Lydia says, when they’re standing in front of the door. “It was really nice to meet you, and your house is absolutely lovely.”

“Oh no, don’t thank me,” Magnus says, holding up his hands, “After all, you were the ones who brought pie. I’m sure me and Adam will enjoy another piece of that after dinner. I’m already looking forward to it. It was truly delicious.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I bake something,” John says, and Magnus laughs.

It’s kind of weird, when Alec thinks about it. Magnus, the son of a wealthy business man, who seemed to have done nothing but party since he was old enough to do so (and _before_ he was old enough to do so, Alec is sure), is somehow the politest, most charming person Alec has ever met. He’d expected a rich kid. A snob. A ‘I’m better than everyone’ kind of guy.

And instead he got Magnus. And Magnus never fails to surprise him.

“Let me know when you’ve planned your barbecue,” Lydia says, “Assuming I’m invited, of course.”

“Of course you are,” Magnus assures her, “You were the one who came with the idea. I’ll make sure to send you an invite as soon as possible.”

Lydia smiles brightly. “Good. I’ll see you two around, then. Goodbye!” She says, as she and John turn around and start walking away from Magnus and Alec’s house.

“Bye!” Magnus yells after her.

 As soon as they’re out of sight, Alec slams the front door close and leans heavily against it. He hadn’t realized how mentally tired he really is until they left. It’s been an eventful day, and Alec has a hard time processing all of it. He needs a few moments of piece, a few moments to breath, a-

“So I was thinking of maybe planning this barbecue on Sunday? We’ll still have five days to plan everything, and that’s a nice way to close off our first week here, right? The best thing-“

“Magnus,” Alec says, interrupting Magnus’s excited chatter. “Magnus, I just,” he takes a deep breath. “Is it, is it okay if I go for a run? I just. I need to clear my head. I need to be alone for a bit.” He cringes, expecting Magnus to be offended, but instead he just smiles softly at Alec.

“Yeah, no, sure, I totally get it. Go for it. We’ll talk when you’re back, if you’re up for it,” he moves into the living room, and Alec follows him.

“Really? It’s no problem? I just, you’re fine on you own in the house for a bit? I’m pretty sure nothing is going to happen, but if something _does_ , I have my phone with me and you can always call. If someone knocks, don’t open, just pretend you aren’t home. There’s a gun in the bedroom if it gets to it, but you can also use a knife-“

“Alec,” Magnus interrupts, voice gentle, “I think I’ll be fine for the hour tops you’ll be gone.”

Alec takes a deep breath. “Right.” He feels a bit weird. Thoughts are still bouncing through his head, and he knows he needs to give himself some time to recollect before he says anything else. “Running,” he adds, lamely, before disappearing into his bedroom to change into his gym shorts.

\--

Alec is trained in multiple fight sports. He was in little league football teams. Fighting is part of his _job_. He grew up learning not to run from his problems.

So it’s kind of ironic, in a way, that the best way for Alec to relax has always _been_ running. The feeling of his feet of hitting the ground, the steady thump-thump-thump of his heart. For Alec, there was nothing more liberating, more calming, then the world whirring past him as he ran. It was his way to escape, to think, to be free of his responsibilities for a bit.

And he kind of needs this right now. No matter how much fun him and Magnus were having, social contact had always been a bit draining for Alec. Magnus was a whirlwind, going a million miles an hour, and Alec just needed time to stop, get away from it all, and think. And the events of today had just been a bit, well, overwhelming.

He goes over everything in his head, ordering it as he goes along. Giving it a place. The car ride from yesterday, where he discovered that Magnus was nothing like he thought he would be. The evening, where they ate pizza and talked like they were actually already good friends. The night, where Alec lay awake, twisting and turning, unable to catch sleep, twisting the wedding band over and over in his hands.

Alec feels the cold metal of the ring on his hand right now, a reminder of why he’s doing this. This mission will help him, help his siblings. _He needs to pull this off._

He thinks about today, about waking up and thinking he’d already screwed up. He still feels shame bubbling up in his chest thinking about Magnus’s surprised face as he’d stormed into the kitchen. How he hadn’t been mad at all. How he immediately reassured Alec that he was _fine_. How he’d invited Alec for breakfast.

And god, breakfast. Alec both hates and loves how comfortable feels around Magnus. He thinks it’s because Magnus proves him time and time again that he can be trusted. Like with the, well, _kissing incident_. Magnus had immediately backed off when he noticed Alec was uncomfortable, and had even asked him about his boundaries to avoid future incidents. He could’ve easily waved it off, or found Alec to be overreacting. Instead, he listened, and he adapted.

Shopping with him had been nice. They had a natural banter going that made it incredibly easy for Alec to pretend they were actually dating, and it was _fun_. It was refreshing.

Lydia and John had been nice as well. Alec has to begrudgingly admit to himself that he wouldn’t mind getting to know them better. The barbecue, however. Part of him likes the idea because he’ll be able to get a better idea of who lives in this neighborhood, and give him a chance to scope out possible traitors. On the other hand, he hates putting them in the spotlight. This way, the chances of them being discovered could possibly go up.

But Magnus had been so excited, and Alec was already learning it was hard to say no to Magnus.

Speaking of Magnus, there was also the flirting. At least, Alec was pretty sure Magnus was occasionally flirting with him. But he couldn’t even know for sure, because everything was an act, and besides, he’s pretty sure that’s just who Magnus is. Magnus is charming, friendly, occasionally a bit inappropriate. That doesn’t mean he’s flirting with Alec.

Also, even if he was, why would Alec even _care_?

He takes a deep breath, speeding up his pace a little. Aside from needing to clear his head, this run is also a nice way to observe the neighborhood, and map it out in his head a little. He’s currently only a few blocks from their own house, but he can already see the houses getting bigger and bigger and he realizes his and Magnus’s house must be on the edge of a rich neighborhood.

Alec thinks, that if he had been normal, or well, as normal as he could be with a family like his, this would be the kind of neighborhood he’d like to live in. He loses himself in picturing it for a bit. Him, and his husband, maybe one or two kids. His siblings could come over in the weekend for dinner parties or Sunday brunch. Hell, maybe they would even own houses close to his, and they would run down his door so much he’d consider changing the locks at least three times a day.

But he isn’t built for that kind of world. He would bore himself to death within the week where he to live a life like that. Hell, he’s already getting kind of bored now, and this is just a mission. No, the suburban life is not for him. Still, he can’t help but wonder what it would be _like_. Not having to worry about his job, his responsibilities, his siblings. Instead worrying about dinner parties and soccer practice and grocery lists. Having a husband that loves him, having a job that pays the bills, having kids that excitedly greet him when he comes home after a long day of work.

The hard reality is that Alec is a soldier, built for a life of protecting everyone but himself. There’s no room in his life for love, for domesticity, for kids. He barely has any time for _himself_ in a normal work week. Actually, when he thinks about it, this might be the first time he’s gone for a run in five years where he wouldn’t come home to responsibilities that needed dealing with. It’s kind of really liberating.

His lungs are actually starting to quietly protest now, so he loops around the block he’s currently on and starts on his way back. He wonders what Magnus has been up to while he was gone. Probably planning the barbecue, maybe watching TV. Alec realizes he actually doesn’t know enough about Magnus to know what he likes doing in his free time and that kind of bugs him.

It hits him that even though Alec has shared a lot about his life with Magnus, Magnus hasn’t really told him much in return. The only things he knows is that Magnus’s father is Asmodeus Bane, but everyone knows that. Other than that he has a friend named Ragnor who’s taking care of his cat, and he likes to travel, but that’s pretty much it. He doesn’t know about Magnus’s hobbies, or if he has a job, or just general things he likes. He wonders if it’s a defense mechanism for Magnus, talking so much and so fast that others never really realize he hasn’t actually told them anything at all.

Alec vows to try and learn more about Magnus himself when he gets back.

His heart is still thumping wildly in his chest, but he feels more relaxed as he enters his own street again. Clearing his head had been a good idea, and he feels a lot more capable of handling things then he did when he left. He takes a few deep breaths when he skids to a halt in front of the house, and does a few stretches before he steps inside. Alec’s full aware of how gross and sweaty he is right now, and he immediately starts taking of his shirt as he heads for the bathroom to take a shower.

Alec didn’t necessarily _forget_ that he wasn’t alone in the house. It was more that he was surprisingly more tired and sweaty from his run than he had expected, and really focused on getting in that shower. So when he enters the living room, t-shirt swung over his shoulder, he almost jumps ten feet in the air when a voice behind him goes; “I see you enjoyed yourself?”

Alec spins around to find Magnus lounging on the couch. He apparently decided to dress in something a little bit more ‘comfortable’, which in Magnus’s case is a burgundy red loose V-neck (and a V-neck in Magnus’s book is apparently one that ends just a little bit above his navel) with gold stitching. On anyone else it would look overdressed. On Magnus, it looks like he’s home. Like he’s comfortable. Alec finds he really likes that look on him.

“Uh, I, uh, yeah,” he stutters. “It was fine. You? I’m certainly glad to see you’re still alive.” He almost curses himself for not immediately checking up on Magnus when he got home. It’s his duty to make sure he’s okay, for god’s sake. Magnus should be his priority, always. Not showers, however nice they are.

“I’m more than okay,” Magnus says, as his eyes roam over Alec’s bare chest. Alec feel the incredible urge to cover himself up. He’s never been the most secure about his body. He isn’t as toned as Jace, or as gracious as Izzy. But the way Magnus is looking at him, is definitely not judging. It’s more… appreciative. Alec really doesn’t know what to do with that.

“That’s, uh, that’s good,” Alec says with a nod, before waving his arm in the direction of the bathroom. “I’m going to go. Take a shower. Right now.” And then he bolts out of the living room as fast as he possible can.

When he’s finally inside he leans against the door and takes a deep breath, before taking the rest of his clothes off as well and getting into the shower. The hot water is a welcome feeling on his skin, and he suppresses the urge to moan, scared that Magnus might hear him and get the wrong ideas.

As he’s lathering up with soap, he looks down at his chest. He has abs, of course. One does not train as much as Alec does without getting at least a little bit of muscle definition. There’s some scars littered here and there, both from field work and accidents that happened during practice. But other than that, his body is kind of boring. Definitely not worthy of the appreciative stare Magnus had just given him when he had been shirtless.

Besides, he reckons someone like Magnus has seen some marginally better chests in his life. Magnus, at least according to his files, went to a _lot_ of parties. Surely the men walking around there must have better chests then Alec’s. Do they even walk around half naked at parties? Alec’s not sure. Maybe he should take Izzy up on her offer to go out sometimes, to find. Although, does he really want to know? Why is he even thinking about these things?

Alec sighs and closes his eyes as he rubs shampoo into his hair. It’s been a long and confusing day. He just hopes the upcoming weeks will be better.

\--

When he saunters into the hallway a while later, clad in sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt, he’s surprised to find wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. He follows his nose, suddenly realizing how hungry he actually is, and finds Magnus at the stove, stirring something that smells so good Alec wonders if it would be weird to just bury his face in it. Probably.

“Oh my god, food,” he blurts out, because Alec is nothing if not eloquent when he’s hungry. “What is it?” He adds, in order to come across a bit more like a normal human being.

“Stir fry noodles,” Magnus says, and Alec nearly moans.

“You are a saint, a god amongst men, the hero we need but don’t deserve,” Alec says, as he sits down at the kitchen table. Magnus laughs.

“Calm down, Alexander. You haven’t actually tasted it yet,” Magnus grabs two bowls and starts dividing the noodles over them. He places one of the bowls in front of Alec and sits down across from him.

“Are you kidding me? It smells delicious, and it looks even better. No way this tastes bad,” Alec says, grabbing his fork and digging in. He takes a bite, and yeah, he was right. It’s fucking delicious. “I’m going to marry these noodles.” He states. Magnus looks amused.

“So I guess I’ll  file the divorce papers first thing in the morning, then?” Magnus says, eyebrows raised. Alec figures maybe he’s acting a bit weird. He can’t help it. These noodles are just _really good_.

“Well, technically, you were the one who made them. So no, I’m keeping you. Also, I guess I’m currently eating all my fiancés, so I don’t think that’s going to work out.” Alec looks down at his bowl. Between talking he’s somehow already managed to inhale half of its contents. Maybe he was hungrier than he originally thought.

“Brutal,” Magnus say, “But I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

Alec looks up at him. Magnus is leaning back in his chair, eating his noodles a lot more calmly then Alec. He’s still wearing the burgundy red shirt, but Alec now notices his nails are also painted, in a deep purple color that doesn’t really match with the shirt, but somehow fits. He looks more relaxed, more human, then he did in his ‘suburban’ clothes. This is Magnus how he’s supposed to be, how he is most comfortable.

He looks down at himself, at his simple black t-shirt that has a few holes at the hem, his faded blue sweatpants. It’s nothing like Magnus’s outfit, but this is how _he_ feels most comfortable. Alec thinks it’s kind of nice, that they can be this way around each other, even after only knowing each other so briefly.

Relaxed, comfortable, at home.

 


	5. there i was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by taylor swift and the vitamin string quartet (seriously thats all i listened to while writing this help me) 
> 
> anyway at 25k this is officially the longest thing i've ever written and we are FAR from done so... there's that... (again HELP ME)
> 
> on a more serious note i'm terribly sorry this chapter took so long. i know i initially said that i was going for weekly updates, but circumstances in my life have kind of made that impossible for now, which means i'm moving to bi weekly updates :((( 
> 
> and now, without further ado, chapter five, also known as 'alec is me at public events'

Magnus has excitedly thrown himself into planning the barbecue they’re hosting on Sunday. Alec is a little less enthusiastic about the whole thing. Who knew so much _thought_ actually went into planning a barbecue. Although, maybe it doesn’t really need that much thought at all. Maybe Magnus, who seems incapable of sitting still for too long, is just pouring his heart and soul into this to keep himself busy, to keep himself from getting bored out of his mind.

Because of that Alec mostly indulges him in the planning, though he tries to stay as far away from it as much as possible. He tries to be the voice of reason when Magnus wants to really go overboard with things, and he offers his help with the groceries and any heavy lifting, but that is about it.

And then suddenly it’s already Sunday, and Alec and John have just hoisted the barbecue into the backyard. John and Lydia offered to help out with the preparations, and Alec is insanely grateful for that. He’s pretty sure he would’ve drowned in everything on his own. Alec and John immediately fled to the backyard the second they got the chance, and they’ve been hauling around tables and chairs ever since. Anything to avoid being in the kitchen right now, where Magnus and Lydia are busy preparing most of the food.

Alec can feel himself starting to get seriously nervous. He’s not a big fan of big crowds, mainly because it’s really hard to properly oversee them. Alec’s going to have to keep an eye on Magnus, but he also knows that Magnus will probably bounce off to talk to someone the first chance he gets. Keeping up with him is going to be pretty hard.

Before Alec and John know it everything is set up outside, and there’s no reason for both of them to stay there any longer, so they head back inside. Lydia is leaning against the counter, animatedly talking to Magnus, and smiles when she sees John and Alec enter. John kisses the top of her head when he passes her and tells her everything is in place. Alec, who realizes he has to play up the husband game a little, wraps his arms around Magnus’s waist and leans over his shoulder to glance into the bowl Magnus has in front of him.

“What are you making?” Alec asks, desperately trying to ignore the fact that this is probably the closest they’ve been since the first time Lydia and John came over. Magnus skin is warm under his hands and against his chest, and Alec wants to lean into it even more, drown in the comforting heat of Magnus’s body.

“Potato salad,” Magnus happily supplies, seemingly completely unbothered by their close contact. Which he’s _supposed_ to be. Since they’re _husbands_. Or, well, pretending to be. Alec really hopes that one day this whole thing stops being so goddamn confusing. Preferably before the end of their mission.

“Looks good,” he says, even though it really doesn’t. He knows Magnus, so he knows that it’s going to taste amazing, but it’s still potato salad, and Alec has never really gotten the appeal about potato salad. It just looks kind of mushy to him. But Magnus has been working hard on the food all day, and Alec would hate to ruin it for him. He unwraps his arms from around Magnus’s waist, and goes in search of the paper plates. He doesn’t catch the soft smile that Magnus sends after him.

\--

It’s not even an hour later when people start arriving, and Alec gets drowned in introductions and handshakes. Magnus stays by his side at all times, much to Alec’s surprise and relief. Alec figures he’s just doing it to keep up appearances, but it’s still nice to have Magnus standing within arm’s length wherever he goes. It calms his nerves a little bit, knowing Magnus has his back.

The people in their neighborhood are… average at best. For Alec, who has lived a pretty hectic life since the day he was born, and Magnus, whose upbringing was possibly even more chaotic, these people are almost boring. They have very mundane concerns, like bake sales at school and how their car desperately needs a washing. Alec feels mentally drained only half an hour in. If one more person excitedly reminds him it is asparagus season he’s going to buy all the asparagus the grocery store has in stock and choke himself with them.

He excuses himself from a conversation and goes to join John, who has been hiding out at the grill the second the barbecue started.

“Burger?” John asks him, and Alec gratefully holds out a plate.

“The people here are…. Interesting.” Alec says, and John laughs.

“Boring, you mean?” Alec goes to protest, but John shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. I don’t like them much either. The only reason I show up to these things is because Lydia really wants to go.” He looks at where Lydia is animatedly talking to a short woman with long black hair and a permanently shocked expression on her face. Magnus is standing a few steps to the left, talking to what Alec immediately labels as ‘soccer moms’. It’s the first time of the start of the barbecue they aren’t standing next to each other, and the first time Alec can really observe Magnus.

The way Magnus communicates with strangers is interesting, because it is completely different from the way he talks to Alec, or even Lydia. He has a certain aura around him, one that’s both mysterious and charming. It draws everyone in immediately. Something about Magnus makes people want him to like them. When Alec walks into a room, barely anyone notices he’s there. When Magnus walks into a room, all eyes are on him. Or well, Alec can’t speak for the rest of the world, but his eyes definitely are. Although that’s probably also because he’s _supposed_ to, since he’s, you know, _actually here to protect Magnus_.

“Speaking of Lydia, I’m going to bring her a burger. Can you watch the grill for a bit?” John says, holding up a plate and gesturing in Lydia’s direction.

“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” Alec mumbles, ripping his eyes away from Magnus. John smiles at him and disappears in the direction of his wife. Alec stares down at the spatula for a bit.

“Deep in thought?” A voice interrupts him.

Alec startles and looks up. It’s Hodge, or at least, that is if Alec remembers his name correctly. A _lot_ of people introduced himself to Alec today. Hodge lives at the end of the street, alone, and he appears friendly, but there’s something about Alec that throws him off a little. He can’t exactly tell what, though. But then again, Alec is wary about everyone he doesn’t really know. Hell, he was weary about Lydia in the beginning, and he’s pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to hurt a fly.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Alec says, and focuses on the burgers. One of them is a little bit burnt, but it’s not so bad that he has to throw it away. He dumps it on Hodge’s plate.

“Thanks for the invite, by the way. The food is delicious,” Hodge continues, and Alec internally groans. He was hoping he was only here to pick up a burger, but no, no such luck.

“Yeah, no problem, man. Mark and I thought it was a great way to introduce ourselves in the neighborhood a little bit. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” Alec’s gotten better about using Magnus’s undercover name, but it still feels weird on his tongue.

Hodge pokes at his burger with a plastic fork. “You and Mark, you’ve been together for long?”

Alec turns back to the grill. “A few years, yeah. But it feels like I’ve known him my whole life,” he says. It sounds cheesy in his head, but it’s probably what people want to hear, so he decides to just go with it.

“You two seem very happy together,” Hodge says, and before Alec can answer, there’s a hand on his back and a voice saying, “Thank you, we are.”

It’s Magnus, and he’s beaming brightly at Hodge, who hesitantly smiles back at them. “It’s rare, to find something like that. If I were you, I’d hold on to it and never let it go.” There’s a weird tone to Hodge’s voice as he says it. Alec’s too distracted by the hand on his back to really pick up on it, though.

“I’m definitely planning to,” Alec says, and tries to smile at Magnus as lovingly as possible. It probably looks a bit constipated, but it’s going to have to do.

Hodge nods at them and disappears, and Alec breathes out a sigh of relief. “Socializing is really not my thing,” he says, and Magnus smiles.

“I know, darling. I’m sorry for leaving you alone for so long.”

Technically, Alec was the one to leave Magnus, but he doesn’t correct him. Instead he just hands Magnus a plate with a burger on it, and makes one for himself. “I’m pretty sure we can call this party a success, don’t you think?”

Magnus hums, “There’s way too little alcohol to be able to call this part a ‘success’, but I guess it’s adequate, yes.”

Alec snorts, and takes a bite of his burger. It’s fresh of the grill, which means he promptly burns his mouth. He seriously wonders when food will stop betraying him. “I don’t think any of these people have ever gotten drunk in their _life_.” Alec says, as he follows Magnus to an empty table.

“We should change that,” Magnus says, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Absolutely not,” Alec rebukes. “We are here to leave a good impression, not to get our entire neighborhood wasted. Everyone’s going to hate us which is the _opposite_ of what we’re going for here.”

Magnus frowns at him, “You’re no fun. I’m divorcing you.”

“Not if I’m divorcing you first,” Alec shoots back, and Magnus laughs.

Before he knows it, someone sweeps in and starts a conversation with them again, but Alec finds that this time he doesn’t really mind as much. Magnus made him realize that in the end, this is about having fun, and it’s okay to let go a little bit occasionally.

\--

The soccer moms, Alec thinks, are definitely some of the worst when it comes to guests at this party. The first place definitely goes to that old lady that keeps glaring at Magnus and Alec like their relationship personally offends her very being (Alec’s pretty sure she’s only here for the food, as she keeps gobbling it down like she’s an actual bottomless pit). But he’s pretty sure the soccer moms rank above the hipster dad that keeps trying to talk him into growing out a beard.

It’s nearing the end of the evening, and most people seem to be done with eating. The weather is still nice, however, so no one’s really in a rush to leave, which Alec is both happy and annoyed about. Happy, because that means their party was a success, and annoyed, because it’s been a long day and he just wants to be _alone_ again.

So far he’s managed to avoid the soccer moms for most of the night, apart from the occasional short exchange of words. Now, in one of his weaker moments, where Alec’s full from all the food and kind of really tired, they manage to corner him.

“We’ve had a great time,” Soccer Mom One says. Alec has forgotten their actual names, although he can’t say he really cared enough to remember them in the first place. “The food was really good.”

“Yeah,” Soccer Mom Two says, leaning forward with an slightly terrifying smile on her face, “We were wondering… We have some friends that come over every weekend, we get together, cook for each other. It’s a lot of fun. And we’d love for you two to come along sometimes. You’d be the first gay couple to join.”

The way she says it, along with the smile, feels awfully like she can’t wait to turn him and Magnus into her token Gay Friends. His skin crawls at the thought of being exploited like that, but he still manages to smile politely, albeit a bit tight. “No, thank you, Mark and I are good. Besides, I’m a disaster in the kitchen. Mark’s the one that made all of this possible tonight,” Alec says, and he can’t help the pride that seeps into his voice as he gestures at the mostly empty tables of food.

Soccer Mom Two frowns. Soccer Mom One steps up to the plate again, “Oh, that’s okay. If you ever change your mind, feel free to contact us. You know where we live,” she smiles brightly, and Alec doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he really doesn’t, and that he also really does not care.

“You and Mark are really adorable together by the way,” Soccer Mom Two says, changing the topic, “It’s so nice to see two people like you so happy together.” Alec fights the urge to punch her in the face. He’s really starting to dislike Soccer Mom Two.

“Have you started thinking about children? This is a great neighborhood for raising kids. Our boys love it here,” Soccer Mom One says. Alec wonders if it’s a normal thing for people in this neighborhood to be so nosy. Maybe it’s just because their lives are so terrible boring, and they solely live through the lives of the people around them. If that’s the case, it’s kind of sad.

“Well,” Alec says, “Wanting to raise a family was actually one of the main reasons for us coming here. Before this we lived in an apartment in Brooklyn. Beautiful, but not very appropriate to raise children in. We figured coming here would give is a little more space, a little more security,” he rattles of the lie Magnus and him had practiced beforehand.

“And you were thinking about adopting? Or are you guys going to use a surrogate mother?” Soccer Mom Two asks, and Alec wonders if it is appropriate for him to choke her in the leftover mayonnaise.

But before he can answer her, he feels a comforting hand on his shoulder. Magnus once again showed up to save him from boring conversations. Alec figures that at this point he’ll just be in his debt to the day he dies. “We haven’t really talked about that, yet,” Magnus said. “Although the plans are there, it is a thing of the future. We just want to get settled first.”

The soccer moms nod understandingly, but stay quiet. Alec considers it a victory.

“Now if you don’t mind,” Magnus continues, “I’d like to steal my husband away for a bit. Some people are leaving and I’d like to give them a proper goodbye.” Alec gets up at lightning speed, which probably will be considered rude, but he really can’t find it in himself to care. Magnus touches his elbow lightly and smiles gently at him, and Alec suppresses the urge to kiss him, that’s how grateful he is right now. “Jennifer, Sharon,” He says, nodding at Soccer Mom One and Two respectively.

‘Ah,’ Alec thinks, ‘So that were their names.’ It doesn’t surprise him that Magnus knows.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asks, when he’s sure they’re out of earshot. Alec takes a deep breath and leans into Magnus’s space a little. It seems like the safest place to be right now.

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’m just tired and they were being weird,” Alec mutters, and leans into the comforting hand Magnus places on his cheek.

“Let me guess, they asked you to join their weird dinner cult?” Magnus enquires, and it makes Alec snort.

“They asked you too?”

Magnus nods as he pulls his hand away from Alec’s cheek and takes his hand instead, guiding him to a quiet corner that seems mostly unoccupied. “Politely told them no. I am in no way interested in being their token gay friend. I’m not even gay,” he wrinkles his nose, “They seemed like the kind of women who’d insist bisexuals are just ‘confused’. Not the kind of company I want to be in for too long.”

Alec absentmindedly mourns the loss of the feeling of Magnus’s hand on his cheeks as he lets himself be dragged along, “None of these people are company I want to be in for too long.” He grouches.

Magnus laughs delightedly. “I know, darling. Luckily you won’t have to for much longer. While you were suffering the wrath of Jennifer and Sharon, I’ve been quietly hinting at people that maybe it’s time to leave. I’m sure everyone will be gone in at least half an hour.”

“You,” Alec says, grabbing both sides of Magnus’s face, full well knowing some of the barbecue guests are watching them, “Are the best husband ever, and I’d marry you again just to prove it.”

“You’re a sap,” Magnus informs him, but still smiles softly when Alec presses a kiss to his forehead.

Magnus’s forehead feels soft against Alec’s lips. Alec tries really hard not to think about how other body parts would feel, would taste. Instead, he closes his eyes, and listens to Magnus prattle on about the general opinions of the public on his food.

\--

True to Magnus’s word, everyone is gone in roughly half an hour. It’s late now, and dark, and Alec and Magnus decide it best to leave the cleaning up of the chairs and tables for later. Lydia and John loiter a little bit, once again offering their help, but Magnus shoos them away after telling them they’ve already done more than enough.

Which leaves them to do the giant amount of dishes they’re left with. They used plastic cutlery, cups and plates, but the bowls and trays containing the food still need to be washed. It can’t be left till morning, like both of them so desperately want to do, because the food will get stuck the plates and it’s going to take forever to wash up. So instead they both take a deep breath, and set to work. Magnus manages to shove most of the stuff in the dishwasher, but a few things they still need to do by hand, so Alec gets the tab running and goes in search of soap.

“That was fun,” Magnus eventually says, breaking their comfortable, relaxed silence. Both of them had needed the quiet for a bit, but Magnus has always seemed incapable of keeping his mouth shut for too long. Alec doesn’t mind as much as he would if it had been anyone else.

“That was exhausting,” Alec counters, grabbing the giant bowl previously containing potato salad. Somehow the guest had actually eaten all of it. He rinses it before dunking it into the soapy water, scrubbing it carefully before handing it to Magnus. Magnus slowly dries it off with a tea towel.

“So I guess making it a weekly thing is off the table?” Magnus teases, and Alec glares at him. “Kidding, darling. I liked it as much as you did, but it was a necessary evil. People love us now. They’ll never suspect I’m actually the son of a convicted criminal and you’re a seriously deadly soldier who sleeps with a gun under his pillow.”

“It’s not under my pillow,” Alec grouches, trying to keep it light by steering away from the slightly heavier topics Magnus just mentioned. “It’s in the closet under my stack of rainbow colored polo’s.”

“Ah, yes,” Magnus says, mischievous twinkle in his eye, “The polo’s. Your favorite fashion item of all time.”

Alec snorts. “You’re just jealous they gave me the colorful polo’s and you’re stuck with the depressingly colored sweaters.” He flicks suds at the dark blue sweater vest Magnus is currently wearing and Magnus lets out an indignant squawk.

“ _Alexander!”_ Magnus scolds, but it doesn’t sound the way Maryse used to say it when she was mad at Alec. It doesn’t sound harsh, doesn’t sound disappointed. Instead, there’s an edge of laughter to his voice, and a sparkle in his eyes that makes Alec flick a few suds at him again, just so he doesn’t have to think about what that means.

“What?” Alec asks innocently, as a piece of foam lands on Magnus’s nose. Magnus goes cross-eyed trying to look at it, and it’s strangely adorable. Alec wipes it away with his thumb, lingering a little when Magnus looks up to him with wide eyes. There’s a silence, one in which they’re just looking at each other, and Alec can feel himself swaying forward a little, closer to Magnus. Magnus seems to have a magnetic effect on him, pulling him closer, closer, closer, until their mouths are only inches apart.

When Alec realizes what he’s doing, or what he’s about to do, he pulls his hand away and clears his throat. “I’m not doing anything.” He says, voice rough for some reason, and Magnus seems to shake himself from his thoughts as well.

“You are the devil,” Magnus states, and lunges forward to splash Alec with soapy water.

Alec laughs, the tension, or whatever it was between them, broken. His polo gets completely soaked, and he retaliates by cupping his hands in the water and splashing it in Magnus’s face. The ridiculous water fight that follows leaves them both soaked and giggling.

They end up just standing next to each other, the kitchen around them even a bigger mess than before they started cleaning up. Magnus’s hair is sticking to his face, but his eyes are bright and he’s covering up his giggles with his hand. The harsh and unforgiving light of their kitchen lamp usually only ever accents someone’s bad parts, but it somehow seems to illuminate Magnus, making him seem almost radiant. There’s a bit of foam on his shoulder, and Alec itches to brush it away, but he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened earlier. Whatever it was.

Instead he focuses on the mess around them, and can feel a bit of panic bubbling up. He’s not used to making a mess of things, at least not this badly. He learned to use the vacuum cleaner when he was twelve, knew how to do laundry when he was thirteen. Growing up wasn’t about being fun and being messy and making mistakes. Even when they were young they were already trained to be soldiers, even though Alec never realized until he was older.

Magnus looks around the kitchen as well and sighs, “Sometimes I wish I had magic and I could just,” he snaps with his fingers, “And it would all be gone. But alas, we are humans, and we have to do this stuff by hand. Here, you go grab a mop from the hallway closet, I’ll clean up the counter.” Magnus waves Alec into movement, and Alec goes willingly. The way Magnus seems to take the mess in stride, not making a big deal out of it at all, eases his panic, and he sets to work.

It takes them another hour, but finally they’re curled up on the couch, mugs of homemade hot chocolate in their hands. Alec is poking at the little mini marshmallows they picked up at the store the day before, and watches Magnus over the rim of his mug. Magnus has traded his drenched grey sweater vet for something purple with lots of sparkles, and an actual matching pair of pants. All and all he looks like a very sophisticated disco ball.

“This is heaven in a mug,” Magnus states, after taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “You have to give me the recipe.”

“Can’t,” Alec says, smiling softly. The TV throws soft shadows over the living room, making it all look a bit like a dream.  “It’s a family recipe.”

Magnus pouts. “But we’re married now, right? That totally makes me part of the family.”

Alec snorts. “Fake married. Which makes you fake part of the family. Which means that if you want the recipe, you’re going to have to work for it.” Alec hadn’t neciserally meant it as an innuendo, but the second the words leave his mouth Magnus wiggles his eyebrows and Alec hides his blush behind his mug. “Not like that, Magnus. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Disappointing,” Magnus sighs, downing the rest of his hot chocolate. With his head thrown back Alec can see the long line of his neck, and he gulps.

Maybe this mission is going to be a lot harder than he anticipated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (it really is asparagus season, btw. i love asparagus)


	6. if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the amazing feedback i've recieved so far, i love you all <3 im still fairly busy, which means i'll be sticking to biweekly updates :((( in more positve news, i've planned out all the future chapters and if i tremble will have a total of 12 chapters!!! (*aggresively starts singing the lyrics to halfway there by big time rush*)
> 
> (and yes, im not above using spice girl lyrics as my chapter titles. im weak, i know)
> 
> TIME FOR CHAPTER FOUR, also known as 'magnus meets the squad and alec is TIRED'

The next few weeks kind of pass in a blur. Things are starting to kind of settle, and Magnus and Alec are slowly falling into a routine, and it’s really nice. It gives Alec something to hold on to.

In the mornings, Magnus is often the first to wake up. However, he’ll wait with breakfast until Alec is awake, and Alec will usually find him in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Because apparently they have a subscription. Alec figures the office might have set it up to make them look more ‘normal’. Or maybe Magnus did, because trust him to be the kind of guy to actually be interested in reading the _newspaper_.

Alec will make breakfast, which sometimes means pancakes, or eggs and bacon, and sometimes just means grabbing two bowls and filling them with cereal. Magnus will make coffee for both of them, and he’s surprisingly good at it. He nails Alec’s coffee after only two failed attempts, while it took Izzy over a solid year to get it even remotely right. Alec is both annoyed and amazed by this fact. It’s not fair for someone who is already as perfect and beautiful as Magnus to also be good at making _coffee_.

The time between breakfast and dinner is usually spend sort of aimlessly puttering around the house. Magnus has discovered the gardening tools and seems content to dig around in the mud for a few hours. Alec, who is still very much allergic to plants, prefers to stay inside and read a book. Since they’re supposed to be working from home there’s no reason for them to really get out of the house. Alec doesn’t really mind. It’s kind of like a mini vacation.

An hour before dinner Alec usually goes for a run, but comes back in time to shower before they eat. Magnus makes dinner most of the time, which is always simple yet insanely tasteful, and the rest of the evening they will lazy around on the couch. They go through two seasons of Project Runway before the end of the first week.

Alec finally gets the chance to talk to Izzy about two weeks after the barbecue. Before that, they weren’t allowed more contact than the occasional update email or text, but this time they actually get to skype. It’s nice to see her face again, even if it’s a blurry image on a laptop screen.

“You look ridiculous,” is the first thing Izzy tells him when he accepts her skype call, and Alec subconsciously runs a hand through his gelled back hair. They’d gone over to Lydia and John’s house for coffee earlier that afternoon, and Magnus and him always played up the suburban look a bit more when they actually went out. His polo is light pink this time. Magnus sweater had been dark grey, again. Alec is slowly started to understand why he takes them off the second the curtains close at night. The grey, black and dark blue are dulling to look at, let alone wear them all the time.

“At least I don’t look like I haven’t slept in three years,” he replies. Even though it’s meant to sound mocking, his voice comes out more worried than anything. Izzy has dark circles under her eyes, and her normally flawless hair is pulled into a messy ponytail. She’s wearing an old Star Wars shirt, obviously Simon’s, and the set of her mouth shows him she’s been under a great deal of stress these past days.

Izzy sighs, and plucks at her sweatpants. “Mom is… Pushing us harder than usual. With you gone there’s already more work, but she’s making us work twice as hard. I think she wants to cover up for you not being there as much as possible, in case someone catches on. We can only tell people you’re taking a short vacation for so long, you know,” she smiles softly at him, and he smiles back weakly.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says, but Izzy immediately shakes her head.

“No, I don’t want to hear any of that apologizing stuff. This one is on mom, not on you. And hey, god knows you needed the break.” She leans closer to the camera now, eyes sparkling. “Speaking of, tell me more. How’s Magnus? How’s the house? Have you had any epic adventures yet?”

Alec snorts. “If you can call a barbecue to welcome ourselves to the neighborhood and epic adventure, then yes. Personally, I wouldn’t give it that much credit.”

Izzy laughs, and Alec can’t help but smile. It’s been a while since he’s seen her laugh, and he always forgets how happy it makes him feel. It sounds like home, one he just realizes he desperately misses. He swallows.

“Magnus is great,” he continues, swallowing down the feelings of homesickness bubbling up in his chest. “He uh,” Alec ducks his head down and starts turning his wedding ring around his finger. He’s not really sure how to explain Magnus to Izzy. Magnus is kind of unexplainable, Alec thinks. Words just don’t do him justice. “He’s in the garden right now. He’s picked up gardening since we moved here. He’s not neciserally really good at it, I think. I mean, I’m not an expert on the whole thing, but it gives him something to do, so. And he likes it, so there’s that. Yesterday he came bounding into the house all excited telling me he’d actually managed to grow something. When I went outside to check it out, it turned out to be a weed. I didn’t have to heart to tell him. He was so excited.” Alec smiles fondly at the memory, and misses the way Izzy raises her eyebrows at him.

“So it’s not weird? For you two to be fake married?” She has that look on his face that says she knows something Alec doesn’t and Alec _hates_ that look. Izzy always seemed to know him better than he knew himself.

“No, not at all, actually. I thought it was going to be, but no. Magnus is really genuinely nice, so I don’t have to fake liking him as much as I would have if he’d been an asshole. And he respects my boundaries, so there’s no awkward moments between us so far. It’s actually surprisingly good.” He laughs, “It’s kind of funny actually. Almost like we have a secret club and were the only two members.”

Izzy’s knowing smile softens into something a little more fond. “I’m glad. If he turns out to be a douche after all, my offer to punch him in the nose still stands.”

Alec snorts. “Thanks, Izzy, but I don’t think that’s necessary. I don’t think Magnus could be a douche to save his life. Now, tell me more about life in New York. How is Jace doing, still pining after Clary?”

Izzy rolls her eyes. “Oh god, don’t get me started. He’s horrible. He never stops talking about her, and when I tell him maybe it’s time to ask her out, he claims he doesn’t like her _at all._ It’s exhausting for all of us, and I’m seriously considering shoving him in a box and sending him to Antarctica by express post.”

Alec tries to school his face in a very serious expression, “I’m very sorry,” he says, but burst into laughter when he sees the unimpressed look Izzy sends him.

“I miss you,” she says, earnestly, and Alec feels the words tugging at her heart strings. “You were always capable of knocking some sense into him.”

Alec shakes his head fondly. “It’s all about frequently telling him he’s a massive tool that needs to get his shit together. You could totally do that as well.”

Izzy hums, “It never quite has the same effect when I say it. I still miss you, though.”

“I miss you, too,” Alec says, and these are the times he hates electronics. Sure, it’s nice to see his sister’s face, to be able to talk to her and update her on what’s going on. Right now, however, he just really wants to hug her, but there’s a laptop screen and hundreds of miles between them.

 “Okay, enough sappy sibling bonding,” Izzy says, waving her arms around, but he can tell she hates the distance, too. When Alec thinks about it, he realizes they’ve never been more than a short drive away from each other. This is the first time they’ve been so far apart from each other for such a long period of time. “Did I tell you about-“ She doesn’t get to finish her sentence however, because suddenly he can hear noises in the background, and her sister is turning around to great someone of screen. Before Alec knows, it, he’s staring at the faces of all his friends smashed together to fit in the tiny laptop screen. Izzy has disappeared, however, presumably to get them all something to drink.

“I can’t believe Izzy is hogging you all to herself,”  Jace complains, and Izzy yells something at him in the background that Alec can’t quite make out, because Jace talks straight over her, “How are you doing, man?”

“Well, I’m still alive, so there’s that.” He shrugs.

“Any cool car chases yet?” Simon asks, a little too excitedly, and Alec raises his eyebrows.

“I’ve been here for two weeks, Simon. Besides, if there had been any ‘cool car chases’,” He makes quotation marks with his fingers at those last words, “I’m pretty sure the office would’ve heard of it. Those things don’t happen without at least someone picking up on it.”

Simon looks disappointed by this fact, because of course he’d be, and Clary apparently decides that this is her time to cut in, “You look good, Alec.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jace says, sending Clary an incredulous look before turning back to Alec, “No offense buddy, but that hairstyle does not do it for you.”

Izzy says, “I was saying the exact same thing!” the same time Clary says, “I think you look sophisticated.” And Alec laughs.

“Seriously though,” Clary continues, steadfastly ignoring Jace and Izzy. Sometimes he and Clary have a lot more in common than Alec would like to admit. He too spends most of his time ignoring whatever Izzy and Jace say. “You look healthy. Not as tired. I know it’s technically work, but this whole thing is clearly good for you.”

“Thank you,” Alec says, mostly because he’s not really sure what else to say. He knows it as well, feels it, too. In the span of two weeks he’s starting to relax more, sleep more, and it’s clearly helping.

“Who are you talking to?” A voice in the doorway suddenly asks, and Alec looks up to find Magnus standing there. He’s covered in mud, and there’s a few daisies stuck in his hair. From here, Alec can’t tell if they’re deliberate or accidental, but it looks horribly endearing.

“My family,” Alec says. Magnus hums and takes off his rain boots, a pair of bright yellow ones he’d bought at the store the other day, and saunters over to the couch. He leans over Alec’s shoulder and Alec angles the laptop so the others can now see both him and Magnus. “Guys, say hi to Magnus.”

“Hello!” Magnus says cheerily, and there’s a squabble at the other end when Izzy tries to squeeze her way back into the frame as well, while simultaneously trying to greet Magnus. Alec watches as someone kicks over the laptop and the only view they have for a few seconds is that of Jace’s ass. He wonders if he’s family is ever not going to be a huge embarrassment to him. Magnus seems to find it awfully amusing, judging by the smile on his face.

“So you’re the infamous Magnus!” Izzy exclaims happily when they’ve all reclaimed their position on the couch again, laptop safely placed on the coffee table by the looks of it. It’s still a hassle to fit them all in the frame, and Jace accidentally elbows Simon in the face. Although Simon doesn’t seem entirely convinced it’s an accident, and tries to smother Jace with a pillow. Clary cuffs them both across the head.

“I guess?” Magnus says with a laugh, “You must be Isabelle.”

“Oh, you can say Izzy, it’s fine,” she says, waving her arms around.

“Don’t bother,” Alec says with a snort. “Magnus has a thing for full names.”

He should’ve seen the eyebrow waggle coming, honestly. Clearly it’s been too long since he’s spoken to his sister. He’s starting to forget how much of a menace she can be. “Oh, does he now?”

“Izzy, please get your mind out of the gutter,” he says, at the same time that Jace pokes Simon in his side, causing Simon to yelp and topple off the couch.

Alec glances over his shoulder at Magnus, thinking he must find Alec’s friends super weird, but instead he’s smiling softly. Alec motions at him to sit down next to him, because Magnus is still sort of awkwardly leaning over the back of the couch, and Magnus complies, swinging an arm across Alec’s shoulders as he sits down.

Izzy sends Alec another look. Alec ignores her. “Magnus,” he says instead, realizing he hasn’t even properly introduced everyone yet. “Allow me to introduce, Izzy, Clary, Jace and Simon.” They all wave, Simon from where he’s still lying on the floor. Magnus waves back with a laugh. “Izzy is, as you already guessed, my sister. Clary is an Intern at the office, although she pretty much outsmarts all of us, Jace is my idiot of an adopted brother,” Jace lets out a loud ‘Hey!’ at that and Alec ignores him, “And that sad excuse for a human being on the floor is Simon, my sister’s boyfriend.”

To emphasize that last sentence, Izzy lovingly kicks Simon in the shin. Simon groans and mumbles something along the lines of ‘Run Magnus, while you still can’.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Magnus says, “Alec talks a lot about you.”

“Shh,” Alec says, before any of his friends can respond, “Don’t tell them that. They’re going to think I actually like them.”

Magnus laughs, and Alec looks at him, soft smile playing at his lips. On the other side of the screen, he can hear Izzy cough loudly. He once again ignores her.

They talk for a while, and Alec is surprised to find how easily Magnus fits into their little group. Before this, Magnus and his friends had been two separate lives almost, and Alec had been scared to mix them in case they wouldn’t like each other. Now, he finds, he should’ve been more scared about them ganging up against him.

“You should ask Alec about his Christmas sweater collection sometimes,” Izzy tells Magnus cheerily, and Alec frowns at her.

“I only wear them because you gave them to me and you got all _sad_ if I didn’t,” Alec grouches, and Magnus laughs loudly.

“I must see those sometime,” he says, and there’s the thing.

No matter how good Magnus is getting along with his friends right now, it will probably stay at that. Maybe they’ll skype a few times over the upcoming months, but after this mission is over, Magnus and Alec will part ways and they will likely never see each other again. That’s another reason why Alec was scared of introducing Magnus into his life; Magnus will eventually leave.

When they finally say goodbye, a good hour later, it’s only because Jace threatened to eat Simon’s face if someone didn’t feed him right now, and Clary saying she still needs to hop into the office to finish some reports.

“Your family is nice,” Magnus tells Alec, and Alec tears his eyes away from the black laptop screen to send him a sad smile.

“Yeah. They’re pretty okay.” The skype call was supposed to help, but now he only finds he misses them even more. He shuts the laptop with a definite click.

\--

Two weeks after the skype call, it’s John’s birthday. And since apparently the four of them are really good friends now, they’re invited over for drinks in the evening, which Alec is already dreading from the moment he hears about it. In all honesty, he’s starting to really like Lydia and John, and he enjoys the occasional dinner parties or hang outs the four of them have, but John’s birthday means a ton of other people in the neighborhood will be over, which Alec is entirely less enthusiastic about.

Magnus repeatedly tells him they’ll be fine as he fixes the top button of Alec’s salmon colored button up, but Alec is less than impressed.

“The last time we had a gathering where multiple people from our neighborhood showed up, I nearly died out of boredom. And that was at my own house, where I could actually run and hide if I wanted to. Now I have nowhere to go and I have to make _small talk_. Can’t I veto this whole thing?” He complains, as Magnus sends him an amused smile.

“Okay, let’s put it like this; we’ll suffer through at least an hour, for Lydia and John, and if it’s really as shit as you think it’ll be, we’ll leave then.”

“It will be as shit as I think it will be,” Alec informs him. And then, “Okay, fine.”

\--

Alec was wrong. The party was not as shit as he thought it would be. It was _worse._

It’s fine, in the beginning. He spend some time talking to Lydia and John, but then John had to leave to greet new guests, and Lydia went to get more snacks, so now him and Magnus are sitting on the couch, listening to the elderly lady from across the street telling them how they were ruining the sanctity of marriage.

Alec hasn’t punched her yet, which is quite the achievement, but that’s mostly because Magnus is keeping a firm grip on his arm. He knows it’s pointless to start a fight, but he’s just so _tired_. He’s been sleeping on the floor for the past month, which is quite honestly not the most comfortable place, so now his back hurts, and he’s barely gotten any sleep because of that. And then there’s Magnus, who’s confusing and distracting and intriguing and Alec can feel him taking down every single one of Alec’s carefully constructed walls, and there’s nothing Alec can do about it. Hell, he indulges it, even, which is honestly even more confusing.

So yeah, this elderly lady telling him he’s literally Satan’s spawn is kind of the last straw. He’s not sure if he hates her for her insults, or for the fact that her words wouldn’t be misplaced in his own mother’s mouth. Which is something he really doesn’t want to think about.

“Marriage is for a man and a woman,” she repeats for what feels like the millionth time, and Alec can feel Magnus grip loosening on his arm, like Magnus is slowly starting to see the appeal of Alec just clocking her in the face. “You two are an insult to-“

But Alec and Magnus will never know who they are an insult to, because at that exact moment Hodge shows up, and places a hand on the elderly lady’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Mrs. Walker, I think it’s time for you to go home.” By some sort of magic, he actually gets her to leave, and falls down on her empty seat before either Alec or Magnus can even open their mouth to say something.

“I’m sorry about her,” Hodge says, “She shouldn’t have said those things.”

“Thanks,” Alec says, feeling some of the previous tension leave his body, falling into Magnus’s side a little. Now that Mrs. Walker is gone, he’s realized how tired he _really_   is. He wonders if Lydia would mind if he’d just take a nap on her couch.

“Unfortunately we’ve dealt with people like her before,” Magnus says. He’s warm and soft, and his hand reaches up to rub circles on Alec’s back.

Hodge frowns at that, “I’m sorry,” he says again, and then disappears into the crowd.

“He’s weird,” Magnus mushes, watching him leave. “But cool, I guess.”

Alec hums. He hadn’t originally really trusted Hodge, but maybe he’s an all right guy after all. He definitely didn’t seem to have any bad intentions. Plus, if Hodge really had been working for the enemy, he would’ve exposed them by now. Maybe it’s time for Alec to stop being so goddamn weary of everyone all the time. So far none of the people in their neighborhood have been a real threat, and Alec’s pretty sure none of them really could be.

“I think it’s time for us to go home,” Magnus says. Alec blinks, realizing his head has fallen onto Magnus’s shoulder, like he’s about to fall asleep for real.

Alec quickly straightens up, making Magnus smile softly. “That,” he says, standing up and reaching his hand out for Magnus to take, “Is the best idea you’ve had all day.”

\--

They say goodbye to Lydia and John, who look disappointed, but seem to understand it when they see Alec half slumping against Magnus out of pure exhaustion. The first thing Alec does when they get home is collapse on the couch. Magnus sends him a worried look.

“Are you okay, Alexander?” He asks carefully, and Alec groans into one of the pillows. “Hey,” he says, and Alec can feel the couch dip and a hand on his back, “Alec, why are you so tired? Haven’t you been sleeping?”

Alec snorts and looks up from the pillow. “I guess you could say that. Turns out the floor is a lot less comfortable then I originally thought it would be.”

Alec hadn’t really meant to admit this, because he doesn’t like to be seen as weak, but he’s exhausted, and it’s been a long day, and it just slips out. Magnus gives him a horrified look though, and Alec regrets it immediately. “Alexander,” he says. Alec thought he’d sound mad, or disappointed, or patronizing, but instead he just sounds soft. Caring. Worried. “You should have told me.”

Alec shrugs, and winces when the movement jostles his back. Suddenly Magnus’s hands are on his shoulders, softly pressing down, easing the tension out of them. “We’re sharing the bed from now on,” Magnus says, and Alec is too lost in the feeling of Magnus hands working the kinks out of his back to protest.

“I’m sorry,” Alec mutters.

“For what?” Magnus asks, and Alec can almost hear the frown in his voice.

“For making you share the bed,” Alec mumbles, glad he can’t see Magnus’s face right now, “I know you’d prefer to sleep there alone, and I just, I’m sorry for not being able to sleep on the floor I guess.”

Magnus hands falter, and Alec almost whines at the loss of contact, but then they’re back, and a little more forceful than before. “Don’t be ridiculous, Alec. I told you from the beginning I wouldn’t mind sharing the bed, and I still don’t. You shouldn’t have been sleeping on the floor in the first place. If anything _I’m_ sorry for not insisting you’d sleep in the bed with me.”

Alec hums, a little overwhelmed. Growing up, people always just expected him do things without complaining. He was a soldier, a protector. Even growing up he was taking care of his siblings, always putting himself second. He’s never blamed them for that, because they needed him. But now here’s Magnus, and he constantly puts Alec first, takes Alec’s wants and needs into considerations, and Alec doesn’t really know how to deal with that.

Magnus hands are still working the kinks out of Alec’s back, his hands soft and caring, and Alec feels himself melt into the touch. Maybe it’s not that bad, being taken care of occasionally. It’s kind of nice, even.

He doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until he feels Magnus softly shaking his shoulder to wake him up so they can get to bed. A _real_ bed. Alec’s pretty sure he’s never been this excited about a proper mattress in his entire life.

The bed itself is soft, warm, comfortable. Alec falls asleep before he can even start dwelling on the fact he’s apparently sharing a bed with Magnus now, and that it doesn’t bother him as much as it maybe should. Doesn’t bother him at all, actually. If anything, it makes him feel more safe. _Magnus_ makes him feel more safe.

Actually, Magnus makes him feel more than he knows what to do with.


	7. this feels right and i'm letting it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has so much foreshadowing it's actually insane oh my god
> 
> ANYWAY IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG i got a bit caught up with exams and other projects BUT IM BACK + im on my summer break now SO WE MIGHT GO BACK TO WEEKLY UPDATES WOOHOOO thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through these few weeks, i love you all <3
> 
> without furter ado, here is chapter seven, also known as 'magnus opens up and alec Realizes Things'. this whole thing was supposed to be SUPER FLUFFY but then, well, i happened to it. WHOOPS

When Alec wakes up the next morning, the first thing he registers is that he’s _warm_ , and that he hasn’t been this comfortable in _weeks_. The sun is peaking through the half open curtains, and its throwing soft beams of light into the room. Normally it would annoy Alec, as he likes his bedroom as dark as possible as he sleeps, but now it just highlights how happy and bright he feels in this exact moment. The ache in his back is gone, like it never even existed in the first place. The massage Magnus gave him, plus the night on a decent matrass, have apparently proven to be magical.

Speaking of Magnus, he’s curled up next to Alec, one hand lightly placed on Alec’s chest. He’s snoring softly, and Alec’s pretty sure he’s never seen Magnus look so incredibly at peace. Normally, Magnus is a whirlwind of hand gestures and words. When he’s not dressing up as Mark he’s bright colors and painted nails. Now he just looks soft, vulnerable, and Alec resists tucking away a stray hair from Magnus’s forehead.

Usually, Magnus is first to wake up, but right now he’s still pretty much dead to the world, and Alec guesses the least he can do for Magnus is get up and make him breakfast. Except, when he goes to move, Magnus makes a sleepy discontented noise and shuffles closer, so now his head is resting on Alec’s shoulder. On top of that his arm protectively curls around Alec’s waists, and he intertwines their legs.

Well. So much for getting up.

It’s a bad idea, he knows this. Beside their current marital status, the relationship between Alec and Magnus is still supposed to be strictly professional, and Alec’s pretty sure early morning snuggles crosses a professional line _somewhere._

But it’s. Well. Magnus and Alec have actually become really great friends over the past week, and somewhere between the hugs and hand holding and casual cheek kisses they’ve shared in public to keep up appearances, the lines have blurred a little bit. The other day Magnus had pressed a sleepy kiss to Alec’s forehead when he went off to bed. And most nights they watch TV with Magnus’s feet in Alec’s lap. And sometimes when Alec comes home from his afternoon run he’ll hook his chin over Magnus’s shoulder to peak in the pans to see what’s for dinner.

The thing is, that it’s kind of comforting, at least for Alec. Growing up he’d often compared his siblings to koala’s, because they would literally be all over him at any given moment. They still do. During movie nights they somehow always manage to squish all five members of their friend group on one couch, which usually involves a lot of lap sitting and general ‘sprawling all over each other’. Izzy still demands piggy back rides from him every time she claims her feet are tired (she always gets her way), Jace pulls Alec into headlocks a lot more than strictly necessary, and Max insists on hugs before bed time.

Alec never really realized how much he _needed_ these touches until he left them behind for six months to live with Magnus. In the beginning he’d been a bit wary, especially because he didn’t know Magnus that well. Hell, they’d set the touch boundaries for a reason. But now, a good few weeks in, Alec can honestly admit to himself that he finds comfort in Magnus’s touch in the same way he usually finds comfort in his siblings touches.

And as long as Magnus doesn’t mind, which Alec doesn’t think he does, since he seems to need the physical contact as much as Alec does, he doesn’t think neither of them are crossing any particular boundaries. Besides, what harm can really come from a little bit of early morning cuddling?

Magnus snuffles in his sleep and curls his arm a little tighter around Alec’s waist, and Alec figures that since it appears he won’t be going anywhere for the next few moments, he might as well catch a few extra minutes of sleep.

\--

“So,” Magnus says, when they’re sitting at the breakfast table together later that morning, “I’m very sorry about the whole sleeping thing. I probably should have warned you that I am a cuddler.” Magnus deliberately avoids looking Alec in the eyes as he takes another bite of the pancakes Alec just made.

When Alec had woken up a second time, Magnus was gone, which send him into a panic much like the first time he’d woken up alone in that bedroom. This time, however, he made sure to check the kitchen first before pulling his gun. And indeed, there Magnus was, peacefully reading the newspaper. Alec had sighed in relief, they’d said their good morning, and then Alec started working on the pancakes, fully believing they weren’t going to mention the cuddling.

Apparently, he was wrong.

“It’s fine,” Alec says, but Magnus still looks a bit unsure, and Alec is once again reminded of the conversation they had when they just got here about respecting each other’s boundaries. “Seriously, Magnus, it’s uh. It’s nice. Comforting? My siblings hug a lot too. It’s uh, it makes me feel less home sick, I guess.” Saying it out loud feels a bit weird, but it’s totally worth it when Magnus smiles softly.

“Well in that case,” Magnus says, smile widening into something a little more devious, “Prepared to be snuggled to _death_.”

Alec laughs, “And all this time I thought it was going to be a bullet that would take me out.”

“Typical soldier, always underestimating the dangers of love.” Magnus says with a snort, as he goes back to reading his newspaper.

They don’t talk about the cuddling again, but when Alec wakes up the next morning, Magnus head is resting on his shoulder, and his arm is slung over Alec’s waist.

\--

“Can I?” Alec asks, gesturing towards the nail polish bottles in Magnus’s hands. Usually Magnus paints his nails when Alec’s out for a run before dinner. Tonight, however, they had dinner at Lydia and John’s place, and since the nail polish unfortunately doesn’t go with the whole boring suburban husband shtick they have to keep up, Magnus had left the polish for until after dinner. They’re home now, snuggled on the couch in their comfortable clothes, each sprawled out on their own side.

Magnus sends him a bewildered look, but then shrugs, and hands the nail polish bottles over without a word. Alec smiles softly and scoots closer, so he’s sitting cross legged in front of Magnus. He uncaps the bottle of base coat and gently takes Magnus’s hand in his. Magnus hands are soft in a way Alec’s hands never are. Alec has the hands of a soldier. Rough, big, capable of murder. While usually that would upset Alec, remind him of the person he becomes, now he can’t help but admire the differences, and how well their hands fit together. Magnus’s hand fits in his like two jigsaw puzzle pieces.

“You’ve done this before,” Magnus says in wonder, as he watches Alec apply the base coat with gentle precision.

“Yeah,” Alec mutters, inspecting Magnus’s left hand before moving on to his right. “My sister, she uh, when she turned fifteen, she thought I was too cool to hang out with her,” he snorts, “I mean, I had just turned eighteen, and for some reason she thought I would find it beneath me to hang out with my baby sister. I mean, I was going to college soon, I was legally an adult. Somehow that lead her to the conclusion that would mean I would suddenly get a life and tons of friends and would never want to talk to her ever again, even though the previous years pretty much confirmed I wasn’t much of a social person.”

Alec laughs at the memory and leaves Magnus to wave his hands around so the base coat can dry. “But you know, Izzy is Izzy, and she’d gotten it into her head that I was some sort of ‘cool popular adult’ now. So occasionally she’d walk into my bedroom, slam a bottle of nail polish on my desk and demand I did her nails, saying she struggled doing her right hand since she wasn’t left, and that I was more precise anyway.”

Alec fondly shakes his head as he chooses a purplish red from the pile of nail polish bottles Magnus had handed to him. “That was a blatant lie, and we both knew it. I’d seen her nail art before, and the things she could to with a brush, oh man. But, she insisted, so I did it anyway. And very unsurprisingly, I sucked _so much_ the first few times. Got the nail polish everywhere, and it looked _horrible_. But Izzy just pretended it was the best thing ever every single time, and she kept coming back, and over time I actually got kind of good at it.” He emphasizes this point by applying the nail polish on Magnus’s left hand with a finesse that shows practice and patience.

“It was bonding time for us, you know? We’d talk about our days, exciting things that had happened. We were Lightwoods, which meant we lived pretty hectic lives. I think in our high school years alone we moved seven times. This was one of the few things we could hold on to, something that was consistent and comforting. And besides, I love doing her nails. It’s a confirmation that no matter what, my little sister still wanted to spend time with me. Plus, it’s surprisingly calming.”

Magnus smiles softly. “I know,” he says, and it suddenly dawns on Alec that maybe Magnus painting his nails every night knowing he’s going to have to take it off again the next morning was about more than just something to pass the time.

“She still does it, when she’s having a particularly bad day,” Alec continues, because for some reason he can’t seem to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth, “She just comes to my apartment and throws a bottle of whatever color she seems fit that day at my head.” He finishes Magnus left hand and moves on to his right. “Izzy comes across so strong and independent, I sometimes forget she’s still my little sister, that she still needs me sometimes.”

He thinks about the skype call from a few weeks ago, where she’d looked so incredibly tired. He thinks about the phone calls they’ve had since, and about how tired she’d sounded every single time. It aches, that she’s clearly not okay right now and that he can’t be there for her. “That sucks the most about this mission, I think,” he says, finishing Magnus’s right hand. “Being away from my family, I mean. Not only Izzy, but Jace too, and Max. Hell, even Clary and Simon.”

“And your parents?” Magnus asks, curiously, and Alec snorts.

“Please. I could move to freaking Peru and it would take my parents a solid year to notice. They don’t particularly care about me beside whether I’m good at my job or not. And I am, so they don’t pay much attention to me.” Alec tries not to sound as bitter as he feels, but he knows some of it must slip through from the look on Magnus’s face.

“This job. This thing here protecting you, this could give me a serious promotion at work. If everything runs smoothly, there’s a very big chance I’ll become an actual U.S. Marshal rather than a deputy. Might even be in the running to become Inspector when the current one resigns. But my mom, all my mom cared about when she heard this news, was the fact that I had to pretend to be _gay_. The mere idea of her son being homosexual, even if it was fake, was repulsive enough to ignore the fact that this was a huge opportunity for me.” Alec lets out a hollow laugh, “Imagine what happens if she finds out I’m _actually_ gay.”

“What about your siblings?” Magnus ask, “Would they mind?”

Alec shakes his head, “They know. And they don’t care, they’ll love me anyway, which. It’s a huge support. But the fact that my parents will never accept me for who I am, no matter how shitty they are, it still hurts.” He’s never been this open with someone else before, but Alec’s sure that if there’s one person who will understand, who won’t judge, it’s Magnus.

“My dad,” Magnus says, and Alec looks up in surprise. Even though Magnus’s dad is the whole reason they’re here, this is the first time Magnus has gone and actually mentioned him. “He uh, he was actually pretty accepting when I came out. Was pretty chill about the whole thing. I never saw him much, but sometimes we’d go for lunch together and he’d always point out cute boys and girls and try to convince me to ask them for their number.”

Alec frowns, “I expected him to be more-“

“Evil?” Magnus asks, interrupting Alec. “Yeah, everyone does. I mean, I don’t blame them. His business was…. Far from pure or good. He has more blood on his hands than I have in my entire body. But when it came to the whole parenting thing, he really wasn’t all that shitty. He was absent a lot, but he’d make up for it by making sure to spend time with me as soon as he was in town. He was always interested in what was going on in my life, but he also let me do whatever the hell I wanted.”

Magnus sighs and leans back on the couch, careful not to jostle his nails. “It’s why I never really talk about him. It’s the stuff people don’t want to hear. They want to pin him down as some sort of literal demon, a prince of hell who cares about nothing and no one and murders you the second you get in his way. They don’t want to think he had a softer side too. Don’t want to believe that he could be a caring dad. It muddles the lines between good and evil, you see? If Asmodeus could be both a killer and a good dad, what does that mean for all the other good dads in this world?”

“It’s okay, I get it.” Alec says, making sure he makes eye contact with Magnus so he can see his sincerity. He couldn’t imagine being in Magnus’s shoes, but at the same time he knows that if Izzy, or Jace, or even Max would ever go rogue, he’d still love them. He wouldn’t neciserally support their actions, but they’d still be family. “You’re still testifying against him.” He says, and it isn’t neciserally a question.

Magnus goes to run a hand through his hair, but pauses when he remembers his nails. “He’s my father, and I love him. But I also know the world is safer without him in it.” Magnus gets a determined glint to his eyes now, “I’ve seen things, Alexander. Things that aren’t meant to for the eyes of children. Sure, my dad tried to keep me away from his business as much as possible, but I was a curious kid, and I’ve seen things no one should ever witness. And I’d do anything to keep them from happening again, even if that means locking up my own dad.”

“He’s never going to forgive you,” Alec says, with the realization that testifying means Magnus will lose the only family he’s ever had.

“That’s a price I’m willing to pay,” Magnus says darkly, and Alec thinks back to his previous words, and about the things Magnus must have seen. Before he can dwell on it for too long, Magnus carefully places his hands on Alec’s thigh, “Now come on, soldier, it’s time to apply the top coat.”

And that’s the end of the conversation. That doesn’t mean Alec stops thinking about it, though. On one hand he’s happy Magnus opened up to him, but on the other hand he can’t imagine being in Magnus’s shoes right now. He’s suddenly has a lot more respect for Magnus’s carefree personality.

Neither of them seem capable of sleep, and they watch ‘When In Rome’ while Magnus points out important landmarks and talks about how he’s going to take Alec to all those places one day. Alec, for once, lets himself live the lie that that’s actually an option for them, and imagines a future in which him and Magnus take a trip to Rome, without responsibilities breathing down their necks. It’s a dream Alec knows he can never have.

\--

On Saturday, Alec wakes up to find Magnus gone. He tries not to be too disappointed, because Magnus usually wakes up before him, but lately he’d taken up the habit of staying in bed until Alec had woken up too. Mostly, probably, because Magnus likes to octopus himself all around Alec during the nights and it’s probably impossible to untangle himself without waking Alec up. That, or he just likes cuddling with Alec. Either way, Alec doesn’t really mind. He likes waking up in Magnus arms, it makes him feel safe and protected.

But Magnus isn’t here now, and when Alec goes to look for him in the kitchen, he isn’t there either. Alec feels panic bubbling up in his chest, hit with the realization something might have happened to Magnus, when he spots a note on the fridge.

‘ _Went to grab some groceries. You were looking very peaceful so decided to let you sleep. Will be back soon._

_Xx Magnus’_

Despite the note, Alec is _livid._ When they started this mission, Alec had clearly told Magnus that he was not to leave Alec’s side, and certainly not leave the house without him, in case something would happen. Magnus had agreed to that, and had stuck to it so far. But now, apparently, he’d decided to throw all caution in the wind.

Alec gets it, honestly. Nothing interesting had really happened so far, but you can never know for sure. The homophobic elderly lady down the street could be some sort of secret ninja waiting to kidnap Magnus the second she got him alone. Hodge could be one of Asmodeus’ pawns ready to strike any second. Hell, maybe _Lydia_ had been a mole all along and was now slowly murdering Magnus by making him eat too much of John’s delicious apple pie.

Okay, so that last one was maybe a bit ridiculous. Actually all of them were a bit ridiculous, but still. Alec was worried.

Hell, the note could be a trick too. Maybe someone kidnapped Magnus and left that note to make Alec less suspicious. But then again, Alec’s pretty sure someone lifting Magnus right out of their shared bed would’ve woken him up. He was still a fairly light sleeper.

Right as he is about to pull on his pants to chase Magnus to the store himself while simultaneously trying to call him, the front door opens.

“Honey, I’m home!” Magnus yells cheerfully, and Alec is in front of him before Magnus can even properly step into the hallway. “Oh, hello Alexander, I see you finally joined the land of the li-“

“Are you _insane_?!” Alec blurts out, anger fueled by the casual look on Magnus’s face. “Do you have any idea what could’ve happened to you? I told you on the first day, never go out alone! Someone could’ve kidnapped you, someone could’ve _murdered_ you! This is not some sort of chill vacation where you can just do whatever you want, Magnus! This is _serious_. There are lives at stake here, particularly yours. If something were to happen to you, Mom would have my head, I will probably be without a job, and you would be _dead_. How could you be so _dumb_.” He’s _furious_ , and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself. Once they do, he realizes that they might be a lot harsher then Magnus deserves right now.

All the anger leaves Alec’s body when he sees Magnus’s visibly deflate. “I’m sorry, Alexander,” he mutters, “I wasn’t thinking.”

Alec has the sudden urge to reach forward and wrap Magnus up in a hug, tell him it’s fine, that he’s really not _that_ mad, just really worried, anything to wipe the sad, crestfallen look off of Magnus’s face. “It’s okay, I’m not. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was, uh, I was really worried. It’s.” He sighs and runs a hand over his face. “I care about you, Magnus. I can’t lose you.”

It hits him, all of the sudden. He can’t lose Magnus. He can’t lose him, and not just because that would bring about his mother’s wrath, or get him fired. He could care less about all of that. No, he can’t lose Magnus, because he _cares_ about Magnus. A lot. _A lot_.

Magnus is the only person in the world that makes him feel like he’s never felt before. Magnus makes him feel safe and secure, like nothing can ever happen to him, but the same time it feels like he’s jumping out of a plane without a parachute and no knowledge of where he will land. It feels like he’s known Magnus for years, but also like he will never stop learning new things about him. Magnus makes him feel like he’s the moon, and he can’t shine without Magnus’s sun.

He knows there’s a lot he doesn’t know about Magnus yet. But he wants to learn, wants to explore. Wants to listen to Magnus talk about everything he’s been through while they’re laying tangled together on the couch. Wants Magnus to whispers secrets in his ear late at night when they’re snuggled in bed. Wants to map out Magnus’s body with his hands, wants to learn every inch, wants to hold him and never let him go. Wants to learn everything single thing about Magnus, to the tiniest detail, and can’t wait to be pleasantly surprised over and over again.

He doesn’t even know when he started feeling this way. Maybe it was right from the moment they met, when Alec looked into Magnus’s eyes for the first time. Maybe it was during the car ride, where Magnus was the first person in years to show actual genuine interest in Alec as a person, and not just in his job or his body. Maybe it was during every single moment they shared after that, from tentative hand holding to sharing a bed, from closed off conversations to deep heart to hearts.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t _know_. He really doesn’t know anything right now. All he knows is that his hands are shaking, and that Magnus is right there, in front of him, sending him a worried look. “Alexander, darling, I truly _am_ sorry,” he says, and Alec merely nods.

“I know. I know. Like I said, it’s fine. I overreacted a bit. Just, uh, just wake me up, next time you’re going out, okay? I’d rather wake up a little earlier than wake up without you.” Alec nearly snorts at that last sentence. It’s been only a week, but he’s already gotten custom to waking up next to Magnus. The first few weeks without him, after the mission is over, are going to be absolute _hell_.

Magnus sends him a look, like he knows there’s more to it, but he doesn’t press. “The reason I was out for a shop, actually, is because I wanted to get you something.” There’s a soft blush to his cheeks, and Alec frowns in confusion. “Well, honestly I was going out to buy some garden supplies but I just had to get you this,” Magnus says, rummaging through his bag before coming back up holding a small cactus in a tiny light purple pot.

“So I know you’re allergic to plants, but I just, I really like plants and I’ve always felt like they could give me some sort of comfort. That’s why I’m so into gardening, even though I suck at it. I just feel like, if you can keep one tiny plant alive, even if it’s a weed, you’re really not doing that bad in life are you? Anyway, I researched it, and if you’re allergic to plants, there a high chance you’re allergic to plant pollen, and more specifically plants with _airborne_ pollen, which, guess what? A cactus doesn’t have.” Magnus smiles proudly as he hands Alec the cactus, who takes it, slightly flabbergasted.

“On top of that, one of the meanings of the cactus is ‘protection from danger and threats’, which I found fitting for this whole situation.” Magnus is walking into the living room now, probably to dump the rest of the stuff he bought.

Alec stays behind in the hallway, staring down at the tiny cactus in his hands, trying to make some sense of the turmoil in his head.

Magnus got him a cactus. Which, it really shouldn’t be a big deal. But he specifically made sure to get Alec a plant he wouldn’t be allergic too, looked up the meaning, and snuck out of the house early to get it for him. Magnus had wanted to do something special for Alec, to _thank him_. Because Magnus _cares about him_.

And Alec? Alec is hopelessly and irretrievably in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cacti also mean 'lust and sexual attraction between two people' so theres that


	8. it's fearless

After the realization that yes, he’s very, _very_ much in love with Magnus, Alec mostly pushes his the whole thing to the back of his head. The cactus, that Magnus lovingly named Fred, has ended up on one of the shelf of the bookcase in their living room, which is where Alec puts his feelings as well.

This whole crush is pointless, really. It’s not like it’s going anywhere. After all, there is no way Magnus could ever actually like him back. Magnus is loud, and bright, and beautiful, whereas Alec is quiet, reserved, careful. They’re polar opposites, and although they might work perfectly as friends, it could never hold up in a relationship. Alec’s pretty sure he’d eventually bore Magnus to death.

It’s fine, really, he’s fine. They wouldn’t work out anyway. This is Alec’s _job_ , after all. He’s here to protect Magnus, not fall in love with him. After all of this is over, they’re both going to go their separate ways, Alec going back into work and Magnus going god knows where. Probably somewhere where Asmodeus men can’t get to him, just in case. Maybe he will go back to Rome.

So Alec shoves his feelings away, ignores them, hides them, and goes on with his life much like he had before. Magnus still spends a lot of time in the garden, Alec reads a lot, they eat dinner, hang out. Nothing really changes between them. Even before Alec realized he was head over heels in love with Magnus, they had a strong friendship, and that doesn’t really change.

The only thing that changes, is the casual touches. Every time Magnus’s hand brushes against his it sends tingles up his arm. When Magnus gives him an amicable kiss on the cheek when Lydia and John are over, he swears he blushes down to his toes. When he wakes up, Magnus’s head resting on his chest, he feels warm, wishes he could stay like that forever.

He feels horribly, lying to Magnus like this, but he also knows telling him would only make things worse. So he keeps quiet, and tries to move on.

Five months into their suburban adventure, they get a call from Maryse. It’s the first thing Alec hears from his mother since the first day of his mission. She informs him that most of the case against Asmodeus is sorted out now, and that they’ll be going to court in a month. That Alec and Magnus are going home in a month. Alec’s not really sure how he feels about it. Magnus seems resigned when he hears the news, but Alec figures that’s because it means Magnus will have to testify against his father soon. He must dread going home just as much as Alec, just for different reasons. They don’t talk about it after Alec first mentions it.

They don’t have the time to talk about it, either, because shortly after Maryse’s phone call, they get some joyous news during their weekly dinner at Lydia and John’s house.

“I’m pregnant,” Lydia says, and sees beaming so brightly Alec’s pretty sure she could rival the sun.

“Oh my god, _really_?” Magnus says, jumping up and making his way over to Lydia, pulling her into a hug, “Lydia, that is amazing news! Congratulations!”

Lydia laughs, and hugs him back with just as much enthusiasm. “Thank you, Mark. You can let go now.”

“Right,” Magnus says, pulling away from the hug, “I’m sorry, I’m just really excited. How far along are you?”

“Three months, now,” Lydia says, placing her hands on her still mostly flat belly, smiling softly. Across from the table, John looks so terribly fond that Alec’s pretty sure his face is going to get stuck like that. “We’re hosting a party on Saturday to celebrate, actually. It’s not the official baby shower, yet, but we’re just really happy and thought it would be a great way to break the news to the rest of the neighborhood. I was wondering actually,” Lydia looks at her husband, “ _We_ were wondering if you could help us plant the party? Your housewarming party was such a success, and god knows we could use the help.”

“Of course!” Magnus says, nodding excitedly, and immediately launches into talk about party planning and catering logistics.

Alec tunes out, chats with John for a bit, but makes sure to pull Lydia aside before they leave. “Congratulations,” he says, smiling softly at her. Over the past couple of months, Lydia has become like a sister to him. She’s a fresh breath of air in his life, someone who doesn’t know him as Alec, the Deputy U.S. Marshal. Who doesn’t expect things from him, who just likes him for him. Though sometimes he feels horrible for practically lying to her, she’s one of the things keeping him grounded on this mission. And seeing her happy, and safe, and excited, it makes tear sting in his eyes.

Lydia reminds him  so much of Izzy, yet she has everything Izzy could never have. Everything Alec could never have.

“Thank you,” Lydia says, sincerely and with a bright smile, and presses a soft kiss on his cheek before they walk out the door.

\--

Alec will miss a lot of things when they inevitably have to leave in a month. He’ll miss the house, the comfortable worn couch, the light, sunny kitchen, and the _bed._ He’ll miss Lydia and John, their indestructible positivity and endless friendliness. He’ll miss the diner him and Magnus visit every Sunday, especially the eggs and bacon. And he’ll miss Magnus. God, will he miss Magnus.

He’ll miss the way he smiles in the morning, all soft and sleepy. He’ll miss his endless enthusiasm for gardening, even though he sucks at it. He’ll miss his hugs, and the way they always make Alec feel a little bit less alone. He’ll miss their conversations, their banter, everything.

One thing he won’t miss, though, are the goddamn neighborhood parties.

“Adam!” Lydia exclaims excitedly when she spots Alec walking towards the drink table. “I was just telling Jennifer here about how you and Mark could totally watch the baby once it’s here! You wouldn’t mind that, would you?”

Alec stops dead in his tracks and swallows. It doesn’t matter if he would mind or not, because he’s not even going to _be there_ in a month. He’s never going to see Lydia’s baby get born, he’ll never know if it’s safe and healthy, he won’t see it growing up. Lydia is one of the best friends he’s made since getting here, and she counts on him, and in a month he’s going to leave and he’ll never see her again. He momentarily considers telling her, some lie about how they’re going to move to another neighborhood, but he knows he can’t. It would look too suspicious. He and Magnus just moved her, claiming to want to build a live together, and then they’re suddenly moving out again? People were bound to raise questions if that happened.

Which means they’d have to quietly disappear, and Lydia will never know what happened to them. It breaks his heart, a little.

“No, I’d love that,” he says instead, “And I’m sure Mark would, too.”

“Gossiping about me again, are you,” Magnus says, popping up behind Alec and wrapping an arm around his waist, “How rude.”

“I was actually just telling Lydia how we’d love to babysit her kid once it’s born,” Alec says, and Magnus gets the same pinched look on his face Alec’s sure he must’ve sported earlier. It’s only for a split second, before Magnus face breaks out in a bright smile.

“Of course we would! If the little nugget is anything like his parents, I’m sure he’ll be a delight,” he says, and the others laugh.

“Wouldn’t be so sure of that,” John says, wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders, “According to her parents, Lydia was a menace growing up. Always causing trouble.”

Lydia gently elbows her husband in the side, “So I was a little bit adventurous, sue me.”

Alec laughs, “I’m sure you were adorable, and your kid will be too.”

Lydia smiles, “Until your kids come along, of course, with dads like theirs, they’re bound to be the cutest little kids on the block.”

“Yeah,” Alec says, getting a wistful look on his face, “Hey, I’m going to grab a drink, you want anything?” He turns to Magnus, who has a strange look on his face and shakes his head.

“No, I’m fine, you go ahead.” Magnus says, and Alec leaves as fast as possible.  

\--

Alec isn’t alone for long. He is trying to hide behind the tree standing next to the drinks table, idly sipping from his beer bottle, when Hodge shows up and comes to a halt next to him.

“Adam,” he says, “Long time no see.”

Alec nearly snorts. It wasn’t that he was purposely avoiding Hodge, but overall, the man was a bit weird, and Alec surely didn’t mind not running into him for a few weeks. But, his luck streak seems to be over now, and he braces himself for another one of Hodge’s slightly unsettling conversations. “Hodge,” he says, “How are you?”

“Good,” Hodge says, “Busy, mostly. How’s the husband?”

“Mark? Oh, he’s great,” Alec says, absentmindedly. Sure, Magnus is great. And funny and kind and amazing and lovely and _amazing_. God, he needs to get his shit together. “You enjoying the party?”

Hodge nods, “It’s nice. I’m really happy for Lydia and John.” He doesn’t sound very happy. But then again, Hodge always sounds a bit emotionless. “Love their garden, too,” he adds, waving his beer bottle around.

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful here. They really put a lot of work into it. Mark loves gardening too, but he’s not very good at it,” Alec shakes his head and laughs fondly, “Our garden’s a mess, right now. Don’t tell him that, though. It makes him so happy. Magnus loves his plants, no matter how dead they look.”

Hodge sends him a confused look, and it feels like Alec’s whole world comes crashing down when he says, “Magnus? Who’s Magnus?”

He’s so stupid. He’s a _U.S Marshall_ for god’s sake, he shouldn’t be making rookie mistakes like this. Hell, he’s pretty sure Magnus never fucked up the name thing before. It was just, the whole crush thing is messing with his head, and now the whole talk about babies and babysitting and settling down. It was getting to him. And now he just blurted out the name of a super important suspect in an ongoing court case while a bunch of dangerous criminals are after said super important suspect.

He fucked up, big time.

“It’s, uh, it’s a nickname,” Alec blurts out. “It’s, it’s kind of embarrassing, really, but I had this period where I was _obsessed_ with Rome. Loved it. The city, the history, everything. Got really into archaic Latin around that time, too, and tried to teach myself some,” Alec huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. It’s not even a lie, there was indeed a time in high school where he took a few archaic Latin classes out of pure curiosity. He actually quite liked it, but had to quit when it didn’t fit into his schedule anymore. Next to his usual classes and his intense training and sports schedule, there wasn’t much time for things he liked, but didn’t neciserally needed for his future career.

“Mark, he indulged me. I mean, hell, we ended up going to Rome for our honeymoon! Well, it wasn’t actually our honeymoon. Our honeymoon was a bit of a mess,” Alec smiles fondly at a memory he’s never experienced. Never again can Izzy tell him he sucks at lying. “So to make up for it he took me to Rome. Ever been? It’s a beautiful city.”

“Never,” Hodge says, shaking his head, “Would love to go, though.”

“You should, sometime, it’s great. Anyway, back to the archaic Latin thing. So around the same time I was getting really into Latin, Mark was more into the Greek side of Rome. He started jokingly calling me Alexander the Great. I mean, personally I’ve always kind of gotten the impression Alexander the Great was a bit of a dick, but he was a great leader and very smart. ‘Just like you’, Mark would say.” Alec smiles fondly again. He’s making this up as he goes, but he can totally imagine Magnus coming up with something just like that.

“There’s a word in archaic Latin, Magnus. It means great. It seemed fitting to start calling him that, especially when he insisted on Alexander the _Great_. It was mostly just an inside joke between us two, but it stuck. I still call him that, sometimes.”

“Cute,” Hodge says, a strange expression on his face. Alec isn’t quite sure whether or not he actually bought it, but he figures the story is convincing enough to get him off Alec’s back.  

“Speaking of Mark, I’m going to go see if I can find him. Nice talking to you, Hodge,” Alec says, pushing himself away from the tree.

“Likewise, Adam,” Hodge says, and then Alec hightails out of there on shaking legs.

\--

When Alec finally finds Magnus, chatting to Jennifer and Sharon, he drags him into Lydia and John’s kitchen without another word. It’s the only room he knows will be empty right now. The second the door closes behind him, he takes a few gasping breaths. “I fucked up, Magnus, _fuck,_ I fucked up, _I fucked up._ ”

“Alexander,” Magnus says, gently taking Alec by his shoulders. “Alexander, come on, breath, breath with me.” His voice is soft, caring, and Alec tries to focus on that rather than all the ways he massively screwed everything up.

“I called you Magnus,” he heaves out in between breaths, “I was talking to Hodge and I was distracted and by the baby and… other things, and it just slipped out and he caught on. I told him,” Alec takes another deep breath, “I told him some bullshit story about how it was a nickname I used to use and I, fuck, I’m really not sure if he bought it.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Magnus says, and he’s looking at Alec with a gentle look on his face, rubbing at his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him and Alec just _snaps_.

“No it’s _not_!” He yells, careful to keep his voice low enough so the guests outside can’t hear. “It’s not _okay_ , Magnus! What if Hodge figures it out? What happens then? Then I have _failed_ , Magnus. They’re going to figure out it’s _you_ , and they’re going to come after you, and it will _all be for nothing_.”

“If Hodge knew who I was, he would have already ratted me out. I’m sure that whatever you told him, you covered it up _perfectly_. Please, Alec, it’ll be _fine_.” Magnus keeps his voice low, soft, and Alec groans in frustration.

“But what if it _isn’t_. I can’t. I can’t be there reason something happens to you, Magnus, I _can’t_. I care about you, fuck, I-“ He makes a frustrated noise, “You are the first person I’ve met who ever liked me for _me,_ apart maybe from my siblings, but I’m pretty sure they don’t count _._ You’re the first person that actively listens to what I have to say. If something happens to you, if you _die_ -”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me, Alexander,” Magnus says, strange edge to his voice. Alec’s too caught up in his own whirlwind of emotions to really pay attention to it, though.

“You don’t _know_ that!” Alec throws his hands up in anger, “I can’t lose you, Magnus, if I lose you-“ He lets out a frustrated noise, “I can’t, I... _I love you.”_ All the anger suddenly leaves his body, shocked at his own words, but he can’t back out now. It’s out there, Magnus has definitely heard him. He’s just going to have to roll with the punches. “I’m in love with you.” He whispers the words, but it feels like he’s screaming them through a megaphone. It’s kind of a relief to get it off his chest, though.

“Alexander,” Magnus breaths out, and it doesn’t sound angry, or disgusted, or any other negative emotions Alec totally expected. “Alexander, listen to me, you’re, fuck, you’re the only person who’s ever been willing to take the time to really get to know me, to see me as more than just the imagine I convey, and I, of course I’m in love with you too, I’m,” Magnus has moved closer, like gravity is pulling them together, and suddenly they’re nose to nose.

“I love you,” Magnus whispers, and then they’re kissing.

It’s not special. It’s not fireworks and feelings of coming home and all that bullshit Alec always sees in the movies Izzy and Simon like to watch. It’s no earth shattering revelation, or everything Alec’s ever wanted. It’s frantic and desperate, but _good_ , it’s so good.

Magnus is in love with him, too. During all those months of Alec falling in love with Magnus, Magnus was doing the exact same thing. Alec can kiss Magnus now, slips his hands around Magnus’s waist, run them over the soft fabric of his dark blue sweater. And Magnus kisses him back, hands sliding into Alec’s hair, softly tugging at the strands.

They clutch to each other, near desperate, like either one of them is going to disappear the second they let go. Or maybe, maybe all of this is some bad dream, and the second they let go Alec will wake up flailing in his own bed, Magnus snoring softly next to him, unaware that they could have _this_.

So no, it might not be the perfect kiss, but it’s more than Alec could have ever hoped for.

Right as Alec’s fingers inch a little bit lower, sneaking under the fabric of Magnus’s sweater, the door of the kitchen gets swung open with a loud bang.

They spring apart faster than Alec thought was humanly possible, only to find Lydia standing in the doorway, grinning widely. “I was wondering where you two had wandered off to,” she says, casually strolling through the kitchen on her way to the counter to grab herself a glass of water.

“Sorry,” Alec says, blush dusting his cheeks. Magnus, next to him, seems completely undeterred, sending Lydia a bright smile.

“Nah, don’t worry boys, just keep it PG,” she says, with a wink, before disappearing again.

“She’s the best,” Magnus says, watching her walk away.

“You’re the best,” Alec says softly, and Magnus’s smile possible becomes even brighter as he makes his way over to Alec again, closing the distance between them. “We’re going to have to talk about this,” Alec ads. Lydia’s appearance had him crashing back to earth, and he knows that whatever they’re doing now, it’s foolish. They need to talk about it, discuss what this means for them.

“Yeah,” Magnus says, leaning in close enough so his nose is rubbing against Alec’s. Alec smiles, his hands landing on Magnus’s hips. Magnus’s is so close Alec goes a bit cross eyed looking into his eyes, and their breaths mingle.

“We can totally talk tomorrow,” Alec eventually says, and then he’s pressing his lips against Magnus’s again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in other ADORABLE news look at [this art](http://redvelvetrose1742.tumblr.com/post/146762288840/aleclwb-i-drew-fan-art-for-if-i-tremble) of fred !!!! love of my life tbh
> 
> anyway aren't magnus and alec super cute together like it would be such a shame if something were to.... happen to it :)))


	9. i keep bleeding love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO CHILDREN IT HAS BEEN FOREVER
> 
> i'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, a lot has happened in between this update and the last lmao (i got a house so im moving out, i started dating this girl, spend two days screaming into my pillow because i panicked and i fist bumped her at the end of our second date instead of kissing her, and also i had work lmao) 
> 
> ANYWAY IM BACK NOW ITS ALL GOOD 
> 
> however this chapter has some **TRIGGER WARNINGS** , namely violence, guns and blood. if you need a more detailed description of what happens, or if you have any questions, you can contact me on tumblr [here](http://aleclwb.tumblr.com) :)

Alec wakes up because someone is kissing his face. Repeatedly. He frowns and blearily blinks open his eyes, finding Magnus leaning up on his elbows next to him, gently pressing a kiss to his nose. “Magnus?” He whispers, voice hoarse from sleep. “What are you doing?”

“Catching up on lost time,” Magnus announces brightly. “See there was all this time where we were just pining for each other while we totally could have been making out, and I feel like it’s in both our best interest to make up for that time by me giving you as much kisses as possible right now.”

“No matter how great that is,” Alec mumbles, leaning up on his elbows, “It’s,” he checks his phone and groans, “ _Six in the morning_ , and I could really use some sleep after the eventful day we had yesterday.”

“Sorry,” Magnus says. He’s pouting, which is horribly unfair, because Alec just woke up and Magnus is right there, looking adorable and slightly sleep rumpled and soft and totally kissable. “I just can’t believe I actually get to have you.” Magnus looks down at the bed, avoiding looking Alec in the eyes, and starts plucking at the sheets.

It’s a bizarre sight, because Alec had never pictured Magnus to actually be insecure about anything, let alone about something like being with Alec.  Alec never imagined he’d be a catch, especially not to someone like _Magnus._ The fact that he’s showing his vulnerable side makes Alec’s heart soar. “Hey,” he says softly, placing a finger on Magnus’s chin and slowly lifting his head up. “Of course you get to have me. If anything, I can’t believe I get to have _you_.”

Magnus smiles, and leans forward to softly press his lips against Alec’s, and Alec lets him, getting lost in the simple touch of lips for a few seconds, “But,” Alec continues, when he finally does pull away, “It’s still six in the morning, and I would really like to catch up on some extra sleep, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Magnus says, flopping back down on the bed and snuggling into Alec’s side, “Sorry for waking you up, I was just really excited. And your face is just, it’s very cute and kissable.”

“Thank you,” Alec says, also settling down again. He frowns, “I think. I’m not sure if ‘cute and kissable’ is a good facial quality for a U.S. Marshal to have.”

Magnus laughs and buries his face in Alec’s neck, his breath tickling the exposed skin. “I think it’s a great quality to have. Although if your mortal enemies start making out with you now, I’m going to have to protest.”

Alec snorts and they lie in complete silence for a while. No matter how sleepy he’d been before, Alec feels fully awake now, and he’s starting to really think about what happened in the past few hours. The kiss, them falling in bed last night all giggly and happy, barely thinking about the consequences of their actions. He thinks about it now, though, in the bright unforgiving lights of the sun peeking through the curtains. The daylight throws an entirely different point of view over this whole thing.

He made out with his _client_. Because in the end, that was still what Magnus was. Magnus was a _job_ , someone he had to protect, not someone he could make out with at any given opportunity. It was unprofessional, reckless, selfish. It was-

“You’re overthinking,” Magnus says, “I can _hear_ you overthinking. We might not have been doing, well, whatever we’re doing right now for very long, but we have been living together for the past five months. Whether you like it or not, I know you, and right now, you are overthinking.”

“I’m not _over_ thinking,” Alec mumbles, tangling his hand into Magnus hair. He can’t help himself. It’s soft between his fingers and Magnus makes this soft noise in the back of his throat as he leans into the touch that makes Alec’s heart flutter. “I’m just thinking. I’m being, fuck, Magnus, this is my job. I’m totally being reckless here. This is a horrible idea.”

“Hey,” Magnus said, leaning up on his elbows and forcing Alec to look at him, “All that matters, right now, is this moment. Just this moment. All those other things, we can worry about those later. When we’re back in the city, when we’re back in the real world. Right now, in this moment, it’s just you, me, this bed, and the very, very strong urge to kiss your nose.”

Alec laughs, placing his hand on the back of Magnus neck, “You sure have a way with words,” he says, before pulling him back down. He knows it’s reckless. He knows he shouldn’t. But maybe Magnus is right, maybe they can just have this, right now, and worry about the rest later. Maybe it’s time for Alec to start living in the moment more instead of constantly worrying about the future.

Magnus makes a noise, and slips his hands up Alec’s bare sides, and yeah, let’s just live in the moment right now, that’s a great, _great_ idea.

\--

It takes a really long time for them to actually get out of bed. By the time they eventually do it’s way past appropriate breakfast time, brunch isn’t really acceptable anymore, and lunch is coming to an end. Magnus suggest to go to the diner, like they do every Sunday, if only for a very late lunch, but Alec shakes his head.

“Let’s make pancakes,” he says instead.

“Together?” Magnus asks, a soft smile playing at his lips.

“Of course,” Alec says, “Catching up on lost time, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Magnus says, sauntering into the kitchen in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a shirt that is definitely Alec’s. It’s one of the ones he brought himself, a soft grey t-shirt he usually only wears when he just gets out of the shower, or in that time between dinner and bed where they don’t have to pretend to be someone else for a while. It’s slipping off of one of Magnus’s shoulders and Alec’s pretty sure it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

So cute, that he can’t help but slide up behind Magnus as he grabs the ingredients for pancakes, wrap his arms around his waist and bury his face in Magnus’s neck. “You’re wearing my shirt,” He mumbles, pressing a soft kiss to the exposed skin.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Magnus asks, turning his face so his cheek is pressing against Alec’s forehead.

“Not at all,” Alec says, sliding his hands over soft fabric covering Magnus’s stomach, “Looks good on you.”

“Is it weird that this is not weird at all?” Magnus asks, twisting in Alec’s grip so they’re nose to nose now, “Like, we didn’t even go on a date, we just jumped straight into the whole relationship thing, and it should feel weird but it just… isn’t.”

“I mean, we have been pretending to be married for the past few months,” Alec says, “Although if you want to go on a date, we can definitely do that. Tomorrow. Because today I plan on wearing my pajamas all day and moving as little as possible.”

“That’s a great idea,” Magnus says, leaning up on his tippy toes to press a kiss to Alec’s forehead. “Hey, apparently there’s this great Ethiopian place nearby, want to check it out? I’ll properly wine and dine you and everything.”

“Yeah sure. Want me to pick you up?” Alec says with a grin.

“Depends,” Magnus says, acting like he’s actually thinking about it, “If by picking up you mean literally picking me up and carrying me to the car then, yes, definitely.”

“I admire your laziness,” Alec says, finally stepping away from Magnus, “And will therefor carry you to the car. But just this once. And you’re the one who’s going to explain if the neighbors give us weird looks.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Magnus says, smiling so fondly Alec is pretty sure his face is going to break in half.

Alec thinks about himself, about this broken soldier who is keeping his sexuality hidden from his parents, who never seems to be able to keep anyone around long enough for it to be an actual meaningful relationship. All he was was hard muscle, trained to fight, not to love.

And then he thought about Magnus, about soft smiles and gentle hands, about a heart too big for his body. He thought about Magnus, who still loved so fiercely, so endlessly, despite what happened with his dad, despite the horrible things he saw growing up.

“Debatable,” Alec murmurs, but Magnus doesn’t hear him, too busy weighing out the right amount of flour.

“Can you grab the eggs, Alexander?” Magnus asks. Alec nods and walks away to grab the eggs, but when he returns, there’s suddenly two flour covered hands grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him forwards. Magnus smacks a loud kiss on Alec’s nose and Alec laughs.

“You have something on your face,” Magnus says, beaming brightly, “It’s my hands.” He pauses, scrunching up his nose as he pulls his hands away only to find Alec’s cheeks are absolutely covered in flour. “And also flour.”

“Thank you for that,” Alec says, dryly, reaching behind Magnus to grab a hand full of flour from the bowl, promptly dumping it in Magnus’s hair. “You have some stuck in your hair, by the way.”

Magnus gasps, scandalized. “Oh, it is _on_ ,” he says, and before Alec knows it they’re in the middle of a full on flour war.

It’s fun, is what it is. It’s a lot like the soap fight they had a few months back, the one after that very first party they threw to welcome themselves into their neighborhood. So much has changed since then, though. Back then, their little war had started with an almost kiss, with the both of them swaying closer and closer before they started pelting each other with soap to ignore the tension that was clearly building between them. Back then, Alec was ignoring any and all possible feelings he might have for Magnus, pretending like all he ever wanted Magnus to be was a friend.

This time is nothing like that. As they stand there, laughing and slightly panting, both covered in layers of flour, Alec reaches forward to wipe some flour off of Magnus nose. It’s fruitless, really, because Alec’s hands are covered in flour, and he actually only just makes it worse, but the gesture still counts. This time, when Alec’s thumb lingers and they stand there staring at each other for just a little bit too long, neither of them looks away. This time, when they sway closer, and closer, and closer, they don’t take a step back and pretend nothing happened.

This time, their mouths touch.

Since their first kiss the night before, Alec and Magnus have already shared _a lot_ of kisses. ‘Making up for lost time’, as Magnus calls it. Still, every single kiss feels different. The one from last night was desperate, new, exciting, paired with an explosion of feelings and the realization that _they could have this_. The kisses from this morning were soft and sweet and sleepy, like a promise for what’s to come.

This kiss, this kiss is everything all at once. This kiss is desperate, new, exciting, soft and sweet all at once. This kiss is an explosion of feelings and a promise for what’s to come. Magnus hands slide into Alec’s hair, Alec’s hands slide over Magnus’s waist, and for a moment it’s just the two of them, and nothing else matters.

Alec wishes he could have this moment forever.

“Wow,” Magnus says, pulling away, wide eyed and smiling dopily. When he looks at Alec, however, he burst out in laughter.

“What?” Alec says, frowning at Magnus, confused.

“There’s flour in your eyebrow,” Magnus chokes out between giggles, “It looks like you only have half an eyebrow now, it’s so dumb.”

Alec sighs, and rubs at his eyebrow at a fruitless attempt to rub it off. “I think I’m going to take a shower.”

Magnus’s face suddenly lights up, and a smile starts tugging at the corner of his mouth, “I think,” he says, eyes twinkling with mischief, “That I have a better idea.”

\--

“This,” Alec says, as the first blast from the garden hose hits him, “Was the worst idea ever.”

“Really?” Magnus says, chasing Alec around the garden while Alec does a desperate attempt to flee, “I think it’s a great success.” Right as those last words leave his mouth however, he slips on a wet patch of grass, and falls, landing on his ass rather ungracefully, giving Alec the opportunity to steal the hose from him and give him a well-deserved shower.

“Cold!” Magnus squeaks, trying to scramble away backwards but slipping on the grass, “Cold, cold, cold, cold!”

“You were right! This is great!” Alec says cheerily, but lets out a loud yelp when Magnus seizes him by the ankles and pulls him down with him, so they both go spiraling down, the garden hose trapped between them.

They roll around for a bit, fighting for the garden hose, but when it’s clear it’s a lost fight, since they’re both already soaked to the bone and neither can seem to get the upper hand, they give up. Alec turns off the garden hose and flops back down next to Magnus, who’s still lying in the grass on his back, softly giggling. “I don’t think that really helped us any at all,” Alec says, turning to face Magnus. There’s a blade of grass stuck to his cheek.

“But was it fun?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow.

Alec laughs, reaching forward to wipe the blade of grass from Magnus’s cheek. “It definitely was. We’ll hose down one last time before going inside, yeah?”

Magnus hums, scooting closer. Alec’s hand is still resting on his cheek, his thumb sweeping over Magnus’s cheekbone. “You’re beautiful,” Magnus mutters, making Alec snort, which in his turn makes Magnus frown. “No, I’m serious. You have a cute nose” he says, pressing a kiss to Alec’s nose. “And your cheeks turn an adorably red color when you’re embarrassed,” he continued, pressing a quick kiss to each of Alec’s cheeks. “Your eyes are like stars,” he presses a kiss to Alec’s closed eyelids. “But most of all I love your lips. No reason, really, I just really like kissing you.” Alec laughs, one that gets swallowed up in a kiss when Magnus presses their lips together.

They roll over, so Alec ends up on top of Magnus, his arms bracketed on either side of Magnus’s head. Alec pulls away from the kiss, and Magnus makes a whiney noise in protest. “My turn,” Alec says, “You’re one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve ever met. Like, people just gravitate towards you, and it’s because you shine brighter than anyone in the room. You make bad things not seem so bad anymore. You make me feel alive, save, happy. You’re special, Magnus.”

Magnus lets out a noise that kind of sounds like a choked off sob. “Alexander,” he says, voice tight, “That’s just… I sound enormously shallow compared to that speech.”

Alec laughs and flops back down in the grass next to Magnus, but not before pressing one last kiss to Magnus’s forehead. “It’s okay. I know you only like me for my body.”

Magnus turns to him, eyes wide and sincere. “You know that’s not true, right? I don’t. I’m not in this because you’re smoking hot. Which you are, but that’s not the only reason.”

“Of course I know that,” Alec says.

A silence falls over them, and Alec sighs. “We need to address it, don’t we? This thing between us? I know we said we’d just see where it’ll lead us, but we have to actually talk about it. What’s going to happen to us after all of this is over?”

Magnus looks up to the sky, expression distant, “I don’t know. I just know I like us here. I like you, I like being with you.”

“Yeah, but do you think you could like us outside of here? Do you think we still stand a chance outside of this suburban house, this simple live? You’re the son of a top criminal, for god’s sake. You’re going to court in a few weeks. And for me there’s my parents, my work, do you really think we could make it work?”

“I want to make it work,” Magnus says, turning towards Alec, eyes soft and vulnerable, “I know it’s not going to be easy, but I want to make it work. If you want that too, of course.”

“I, yeah, I want that,” Alec says, leaning forward to capture Magnus’s lips in a soft kiss, “I want that more than anything.”

“Alexander, I have no idea what the future is going to bring us. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I think, I think that if we’re both in this, we both want this, we can make it work. If we believe in each other, in us, then we can handle whatever the world throws at us,” Magnus says, and Alec smiles.

“You’re right. Whatever the world throws at us, we can handle it.”

\--

When Alec wakes up the next morning, the bed is empty. He isn’t all too concerned about that, Magnus probably woke up before him and decided to make breakfast, a thought confirmed when he hears a loud bang coming from the kitchen. Magnus probably dropped something.

He rolls out of bed, stretching his arms out as he goes. The floor is cold under his bare feet as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a mostly okay smelling t-shirt.

Last night, Magnus had surprised Alec with an actual honest to god candle lit dinner. He made stir fry noodles, the same he’d made that very first time he’d cooked for Alec. Alec’s probably a bit biased, but he’s pretty sure they tasted even better than last time. After that they’d fallen down on the couch, curled around each other, watching a movie until they were both yawning and ready to go to bed.

Alec remembers thinking, right before he fell asleep last night, that he’d never been so happy, and that he wished it could last forever.

It appears he may have jinxed himself, because the second he steps foot in the kitchen, everything goes to hell.

Looking back on it, he should’ve seen it coming. He should’ve at least expected it. But in his excitement about finally being with Magnus, about his feelings being reciprocated, he’d totally forgotten about the little slip up that had led them to that kiss. Had totally forgotten about Hodge.

And that will forever be the biggest mistake Alec has ever made.

He’s eerily reminded of that very first morning he’d woken up in the bedroom alone. He had panicked, grabbed his gun, and stormed into the kitchen only to find Magnus at the breakfast table, completely fine.

He wishes he’d done that today.

Instead of being the hero, of marching in there and saving the day like he’s supposed to, someone overpowers him, twists his arms behind his back and presses a knife to his neck, and all he can do is allow it, hopelessly go along with it.

All he can see right now is Magnus, on the other end of the kitchen, looking at Alec with wide, panicked eyes. He’s in the same position as Alec, arms pulled behind his back and knife on his throat. The only difference is that the person holding the knife isn’t some unknown stranger like the person holding Alec. It’s Hodge.

“Adam!” Hodge cheerily exclaims, smile wicked, “Or should I say Alexander? That’s what your little boyfriend here calls you, doesn’t he?” Hodge jostles Magnus a little, and Magnus winches when it brings his throat closer to the knife. Alec’s insides feel like they’ve turned to ice.

“Why are you here?” Alec grits out through his teeth.

Hodge all but laughs, “Oh, but haven’t you figured it out yet, Alexander?” The name sounds vile coming out of Hodge’s mouth. Nothing like the way Magnus says it, with an edge of love and adoration. “You two aren’t the only ones who were undercover. I have to say, you really had me fooled there for a while. So in love, you two. It’s a pity you slipped up, yesterday. You could’ve grown old here together, if you hadn’t. Although the way you tried to cover it up was really admirable. If only you hadn’t mentioned your own name alongside Magnus’s, Alexander. That was the final confirmation we needed.”

And that’s when Alec feels like he’s going to vomit.

It’s all his fault. All of this is his fault. He slipped up, he’d confirmed Hodge’s suspicion. He was the one who let his guard down enough to not immediately be alarmed when he heard that loud bang in the morning. He’d failed. He’d let his parents down, his family, his boss and, most importantly, Magnus.

Magnus, who’s standing on the other side of the kitchen, too far away to touch, to comfort, to whisper it was all going to be okay. Magnus, who for the first time since Alec has known him looks absolutely _terrified_. Magnus, who’s counting on Alec to get them out of this mess.

Alec realizes that that is his only option. All is not lost yet, he can still turn this around. He _has_ to turn this around. He is a U.S. Marshall, after all. He’s trained for this.

Except, in the trainings, and even in real life, he had never been emotionally attached to the person he had to safe, not like with Magnus. He can’t let anything happen to Magnus, it would absolutely kill him. But at the same time, _he can’t let anything happen to Manus_.

Hodge is still in the middle of some big speech about what they’re going to do to them before they hand them over to Asmodeus’ men. Alec hasn’t really been listening, but the nauseous look on Magnus’s face tells him enough. The man holding Alec is strong, but Alec has already pinpointed his weak points in the short moment he’s been held captive.

It doesn’t take him long to work out a plan. He doesn’t know if it’s going to work, but for Magnus, he’d do anything. He sends the other man one last final smile, hoping to convey that everything is going to be all right, and Magnus sends him a shaky smile back. It’s all the encouragement Alec needs to twist in the man’s grip, break his wrists free, grab the knife, and stab the man in the shoulder before punching him straight in the nose.

The element of surprise buys him enough time to leap over the kitchen table, pull the knife away from Magnus’s throat and knee Hodge in the groin. The next thing he knows he’s grabbing Magnus’s hand and sprinting for the kitchen door with all he has, grabbing the car keys out of the fruit bowl when he runs past it. He slams the kitchen door open at the same time someone behind them cock a gun, and his immediate instinct is to push Magnus out in front of him so he’s no longer in the line of fire.

They make it around the back, trampling Magnus’s beloved pansies in the process. It was the only flower he’d actually been able to actively grow.

When they’ve nearly reached the driveway, another gunshot goes off and almost immediately after Alec feels an excruciating pain in his shoulder. It’s not the first time he’s been shot, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t help that the shot is dangerously close to his heart.

He stumbles and Magnus looks back, eyes wide and shocked. Alec wants to tell him to keep moving, leave without him, that all that matters is Magnus’s safety, but all that comes out is a few loud coughs, and then there’s an arm wrapping around his waist and Magnus is dragging him towards the car. Magnus is muttering, words Alec can’t hear, but the sound of Magnus’s voice is enough to give him enough strength to get himself inside the car.

He barely notices Magnus getting in the driver’s seat, starting the car, driving away. He can make out Magnus’s words now, however, a continuous prayer of “Please Alexander, please don’t leave me.”

Alec wants to say he’d never leave Magnus in a million years, but talking is hard, so he just hopes Magnus knows. Magnus has to know.

His shirt is wet and sticky, and when he looks down he realizes it’s blood. A lot of blood. More blood then is probably healthy. His head feels dizzy, and he’s slowly losing consciousness, his vision going bleary.

“Please don’t leave me, Alexander, I love you, please don’t leave me.”

It’s the last words he hears before the world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END :D
> 
> nah im kidding im not _that_ cruel

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr [here](http://aleclwb.tumblr.com) :)))))


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